Genesis
by csiphile
Summary: Choices sometimes lead to new paths. EO COMPLETE!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Genesis

Author: csiphile/redwing

Rating: Strong PG for language

Category: Drama/Angst (E/O)

Disclaimer: Yeah, here is a surprise, I don't own them. I just borrowed em for a bit, I'll return them none the worse for wear…well except maybe Elliot.

Summary: Its all about choices. 

AN: This would be my first L&O fic and lemme tell you this is one TOUGH fandom. I have never struggled with a fic so much. Big props to all the writers before me, who inspired me to give it a shot, I hope it doesn't suck. Reviews are, of course, greatly appreciated.

Big thanks to my beta M, she isn't in this fandom, but watches the show and assisted me greatly. Tense, grammar, the whole bit. Thank you.

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Chapter 1: Ultimatiums

Olivia Benson is pissed. Actually pissed doesn't accurately describe her current emotional state. Furious, livid, enraged are better words. Their suspect had the nerve to run- RUN!- of all things as soon as the word "Detective" came out of her mouth. So here she is, running down a wet, dark alley after the guy. This is not what she had planned for the evening. A hot bath had been at the top of her agenda until two minutes before she was ready to leave and a tip came in regarding their suspect's whereabouts. They couldn't let it go; it was a tip from a reliable source, so she and her partner had trudged out to the edge of civility, into one of the poorer neighborhoods in Manhattan. And that's what brought her to where she is now, running steadily, making some ground on her suspect that she is now determined to catch; and he better hope to god Stabler catches up quick before she puts the suspect in a world of hurt for this maneuver.

She knows her partner is right behind her, so she doesn't hesitate when the suspect makes a sharp left into an abandoned warehouse. She follows, coming to a stop just inside the door and moves more hesitantly now. The warehouse is massive and dark, dead of night dark. The only light is filtering in through plywood haphazardly screwed over broken in windows. 

"Shit," she thinks and looks to see Elliot on the phone, stepping into the warehouse behind her. Backup. What should have been an easy collar is turning into a SNAFU of the worst kind that requires beat cops to help them. Christ. Now she is angrier and more determined. There is NO way she is allowing a suspect to escape her after all this.

Gun drawn she moves forward slowly, she sees movement on her left side and quickly bolts in that direction. The suspect wasn't armed when he took off, of that she is confident. Getting to the position she last saw him, Olivia stops again; she lost him.

Squinting, she looks around carefully. Her eyes have adjusted to the dark somewhat but it doesn't help when she is surrounded by stacks of pallets obstructing her view. Again she hears Elliot approaching her position. She's had enough of this game.

"Billy Marsters! You are under arrest, make yourself known."

Her call is greeted by silence.

She tries again, this time letting her anger come through her words. "Billy, you DO NOT want me coming after you. Trust me." Under her breath she mutters several curses-most directed at the suspect- and sighs when she hears Elliot snicker lightly. A nice hot bath, that's where she should be, not cold, pissed and chasing some asshole that is already wanted for rape and now evading the police. 

Again she sees movement; again on her left, but this time she slowly approaches. It's darker back where they are, with no windows at all to let light in. Moving behind a stack of said pallets, and probably out of Elliot's line of sight, she opens her mouth to shout again, but before one word comes out she feels a crack of pain before blackness overtakes her. 

The next thing she is aware of is a dull throbbing at the base of her skull… being very cold…and horizontal. Her mind whirs. _`What the he—that little shit! When I get my hands on him…'_ Blinking quickly, she opens her eyes to Elliot Stabler hovering over her with an expression of concern on his face. 

"Liv?"

"I'm alright," she says and sits up with some assistance from her partner. Now Elliot is hunched down in front of her, staring at her intently. "Stop staring at me, I'm fine. Really." 

He doesn't look convinced so she shifts the conversation. "Where's the suspect? Did you get him?" 

He doesn't say anything, but moves slightly, giving her a clear view of the sight behind him: their suspect, handcuffed to a support beam, not looking very conscious himself. Olivia grins and looks at Elliot, who shrugs lightly.

"Nice. Help me up, would you?" she asks, and holds out an arm.

"Liv…."

Cutting him off, she waves her arm and simultaneously speaks. "Just  
do it."

She smiles slightly when he stands and holds out his hand to her. Using him for support, she pulls herself up off the floor and is surprised when a wave of dizziness hits, causing her to sway slightly and grip Elliot's forearm for balance. She looks down to try and regain her balance and feels his other arm grabbing her lightly, leading her somewhere. Without speaking, he guides her to sit on a smaller stack of the pallets and stands protectively in front of her, seemingly waiting to see if she will faint so he can keep her from falling too far. Now in the background she can hear their backup and what sounds like an ambulance, very close. 

They don't speak; she's sitting on the pallets with her head down, willing the dizziness away, and he's standing close in front of her. Theirs is a partnership formed over almost 7 years of working together. It had started out rough; they were both stubborn-headed people. He was a veteran of the SVU, while she was a newcomer with impressive credentials. He was dubious of her abilities regardless of her solve percent in the two-two. SVU is an emotionally draining department; most detectives didn't last 6 months. It takes a special person to stay and make a difference. It didn't take too long for Elliot to realize that Olivia Benson was one of the special ones. As she had settled into the job, so had their partnership settled into one of mutual respect and understanding. They were at the point now where they completed each other's thoughts, frequently coming to the same conclusion or idea at the same time. Their interrogations were quite an event, and anyone watching was more like a spectator at a tennis game as the two of them went back and forth, grilling the suspect. Even so, they could fight about something voraciously, where each was convinced they were right; some of their better arguments were now precinct lore. Especially the one where she walked out and swore she would be requesting another partner the next morning. Neither is afraid to go at it right in the bullpen in front of a dozen other officers and detectives. In the end, she hadn't requested a new partner and they worked it out as usual (as it turns out she had been right) and they were stronger for it.

"How you feeling?" he finally asks as backup, namely Munch and Fin, come in slowly, approaching when Elliot waves them over.

"Fine, it's gone. No problem." She stands slowly, this time the dizziness gone.

"Ok." He knows better than to press, especially considering her mood earlier.

Elliot watches as the new members of the group look over at the suspect then turn toward them. 

"Well, that certainly explains the ambulance request; they are right behind us. What happened?" Fin says and looks at Olivia who looks a little…off.

"Ass ran from us," is her only statement.

"So you handcuffed him unconscious to a pole?"

"You'd have to ask Elliot about that one," she says as she places one hand on her neck, stiffness starting to set in. 

"You ok? You don't look right."

This time Elliot answers. "She took a two by four to the back of the head thanks to Billy here."

Fin nods in understanding of Marsters' condition. Partners watched each others backs, which sometimes required a bit of rough handling of the suspect. Fin gives her a questioning glance. 

"Yeah, fine. I was only out a minute or two. I'll make it."

Just then the EMTs come in and are ushered back to the suspect's location. He is quickly checked out and loaded up into the ambulance.

Swiftly Olivia and Elliot give their statements to Fin before deciding that typing it all up can wait until morning. As it is, it's already midnight and they had all been up for days looking for Billy Marsters. Now that he is caught and being held overnight for observation, they could all go home and get a good night's sleep. 

Getting into their department-issued sedan, Elliot realizes the timeand groans. This isn't going to be good.

"What?" his partner asks as she buckles her seatbelt.

"I didn't call home and tell Kathy I was going to be this late. Though I didn't figure that it would take that much time to haul him in," he comments and starts the vehicle.

"She'll understand. It's happened before."

"Yeah, I hope." What he fails to tell her is that Kathy has really been getting on him lately about working late. So in an effort to keep his marriage in one piece he has been trying to get home at a decent hour so they can at least see each other before Elliot drops into their bed, exhausted. The past week has been bad; every night at the station until 11 or 12, minimum. Since the leads were cold and the case stalled, he had promised an early night that night which, par for the course, hadn't worked out. Now he is wondering if this will start another fight. Elliot isn't sure if he can handle that right now. He's tired, almost as cranky as Olivia, and concerned about his partner who is sitting quietly watching the scenery go by as he drives uptown to her apartment.

The silence in the car isn't unusual; they can go hours without actually speaking to each other without it being tense. But something about this silence isn't right. For some reason he needs to hear his partner's distinctive voice, if only to make sure she hasn't slipped into a coma while he was crossing 7th Avenue. 

"Jessica will be relieved," He comments, turning to face her as they come to a stop.

Slowly she turns toward him. "Huh? Oh, yeah, she will. I'll call her when I get home."

"Liv…" he says and accelerates through green.

She twists her head back to the window and takes a deep breath. "For the love of….Elliot, I'm fine. Exhausted and…"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to flip for the DD5," he deadpanned.

Heaving a large sigh, Olivia turns toward him, determined to call him on giving her a line. But one look at his blank expression and she breaks out into a laugh.

"Ahhhh, haven't heard that in a while," he comments.

Just then, he pulls up in front of her apartment complex.

"Thank you," she says honestly, and steps out of the car. But before shutting the door, she adds, "For everything. I hope Kathy isn't too pissed."

"Nah, it'll be fine. Good night, Liv."

"Night," she says and closes the door. He watches her access the outer door before driving away.

Stabler House- 1 am

He quietly enters the house. All the lights are off, save one in the kitchen that they always leave on. Slipping off shoes from his tired feet and shrugging out of his coat, Elliot enters the living room, surprised when a tired voice calls out from the couch.

"Elliot?"

He almost cringes at the sound of Kathy's voice; it's not angry -- concerned maybe, confused for sure. Walking around the furniture, he sees her lying there, clad in a t-shirt and track pants, obviously waiting for him.

"Hey. Come on, let's go to bed," he practically whispers and holds out a hand for her to grab, surprised when she doesn't.

"What time is it?"

"Almost one. Come on." Again he holds out the hand; again she sits and doesn't take it.

"So much for an early night." Her voice is bitter, almost angry, now.

"I'm sorry. We got a tip in at the last minute, but we caught the guy."

"I'm glad, I really am." She pauses and looks at him. "Elliot, we need to talk. This isn't working -- something HAS to give."

"What are you saying?"

"Elliot…sit down." She waits for him to perch on the edge of a chair before continuing. "I'm tired of doing this, Elliot. Of asking you to be home at a reasonable hour but knowing it won't happen. Of seeing you a total of one hour a day if I'm lucky, of raising these kids alone. Something needs to change."

"What do you want me to do, Kathy? I'm a cop, you knew that when you married me…" 

"When I married you, you were a beat cop working 4 ten hour shifts plus a little bit of overtime. Nothing like it is now."

"Now I do more than write out speeding tickets and put away purse snatchers. I make a difference now…"

"It's not just the hours, Elliot. You never talk to me anymore. What kind of relationship are we having if we never talk to each other except about the kids? I don't know you anymore." 

"You know I can't discuss work."

"Can't? Or won't?"

Elliot sighs. He really isn't in the mood for this discussion again, but he gets the feeling if they don't have it, it will be the end of their marriage. "Won't. Trust me, Kathy, you don't want to hear about what I see all day. I don't want to expose you to it. I've told you that."

"I know, I know….I just can't keep going like this. I'm at my limit, Elliot." 

"What do you want me to do? Quit?" Quietly, she shakes her head. "Okay, what else is there besides transfer to another department?"

At that Kathy hangs her head and Elliot knows he has hit on what she wants. A transfer out of SVU. He slowly sits back in the chair, thinking. He can't imagine leaving the unit, his home for over ten years now.

"Kathy, I don't know if I can leave."

"Again…can't or won't? Elliot, I never wanted to do this, but I have to. You need to make a decision."

He knows what she is saying…the job or his family. And being honest with himself, he knows that she has every right. Kathy has been more than patient with this job, more understanding than most spouses would be.

She walks by him and places a light kiss on his forehead. "Think about it. You're a good man, Elliot, but you can't do everything and your family needs you. Night."

"Night," he says as he leans into the confines of the chair and thinks about his choice.

Reasonably he could find something in another division that was fewer hours and not so emotionally draining, especially considering his service record. It was so hard to break up a good team though; the core they had now had been together for 4 years. He couldn't ask for a better Captain in Cragen or a better partner…Olivia.

Elliot sighs loudly. That would be the truly hard part-leaving Olivia. They are as close as partners can be. Closer than most due to the nature of what they see. The thought of leaving her with someone else to watch her back did not appeal to him. He is her protector, and if she ever knew he was thinking that she would kick his ass. He didn't mean her physical protector; Elliot has seen her bring down a suspect twice her size and hopped up on drugs in no time flat. No, Elliot is her emotional guardian at the gate, so to speak. Not even Cragen is capable of seeing the tiniest hint that she is thinking with her heart and not her head. He's just concerned that in his absence, her next partner might not see things as clearly.

Plus, he'll miss her, probably more than he should. While Olivia can be emotional and hard to deal with sometimes, she is probably his best friend, more so than his own wife. She is vivacious, highly intelligent, and when not being so serious about work, an incredibly funny person. Half the crude jokes he's heard have come from her. Plus, she knows how to keep him in line. No partner before her had ever called Elliot on his behavior like she does. Put quite simply, she doesn't put up with his shit. Plus on more than one occasion, he has lost sight of what's important and she's been there to remind him.

On the other hand, he would get to spend more time with his kids, something he wants, but never seems to have, Until Kathy forced him into a decision, he probably never would have thought about changing things. He really can't blame her for essentially forcing an ultimatum on him. She never was given a fair choice about his job; he essentially forced her to comply with his job requirements. 

Rubbing his hands on his face, Elliot looks at the clock. Two am. He needs to get to bed to be at work by 8 so they can interrogate their suspect. Slowly he stands, not sure if sleeping will be an option.

tbc…………….


	2. Decisions

Title: Genesis 2/9

Author: csiphile/redwing

Rating: PG13 for now

Disclaimer: Me no own. K?

Summary: When Elliot is forced into a decision, what will he choose….family or work? (E/O)

AN1: Now it gets good, Elliot's made a decision, but can he live with it? 

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, y'all make my day. Seriously. And of course to my fabulous beta, she knows who she is.

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Chapter 2: Decisions

Squadroom, 11 AM

Without warning, a mug of hot coffee slides into his line of sight and is placed on his desk. Following the slim hand that had placed it there, he sees his partner smiling at him.

"Look like you need it." She turns and sits at her own desk, grabbing a file off her inbox.

She knows him as well as he does her. "Yeah, I do. Thanks."

"Kathy get on your case?" she asks and looks down at the file.

Something about that startles him, and Elliot stares at the top of her head for a minute before answering. "No." He lies, for the first time, he lied to her and he feels guilty as hell about it.

"Good, but you still look tired. Did you not sleep well?"

"Not really. A lot on my mind."

Now she looks up. "Anything you want to talk about?"

`I wish I could, Liv,' he thinks to himself while answering in the negative. "Got it under control."

"Okay, El. But you know…"

"I know. Thank you."

She gives him a contemplative look before turning her attention back to the file still open on her desk. 

Staring at her head again, he hears the strains of some song coming from her as she scribbles her notes on paper before transferring them to the computer to be typed up for the official file. This is going to be harder than he thought, much harder.

Two Weeks Later, Squadroom, 7 AM

Olivia walks into the squadroom and hangs up her coat, checking her messages on the way to her desk. Sitting down, she finally looks at the desk across from hers and is surprised to see Elliot's coat tossed over the back of his chair. She almost always beats him in if there were no pressing cases, and today there weren't any. Putting it out of mind, she goes through the pink slips of paper with the desk sergeant's handwriting on it, making two small piles, one of critical calls, the other ones that can wait until she has time. 

Thirty minutes later, she realizes that her partner is still has not returned to his desk. Frowning, she looks up and finally notices that Cragen's door is closed, but the lights are on. The investigator in her wants to know what's going on; this is not usual behavior for either her partner or her boss at this hour of the morning. They have been in there 30 minutes that she knows of. She knows it's not about a recent case, otherwise she would be in there also. `Probably nothing,' she decides and goes back to sorting out her day. It's a rare morning that she can prioritize paperwork and calls without a case hanging over her head.

Finally after another 15 minutes, the door opens and Elliot comes out looking almost dejected. She cocks her head at him as he approaches their desks and is about to question the nature of the meeting, but before a word can escape her, Fin strides in the door and Elliot's expression swiftly changes back to his neutral look. Her opportunity is gone for the moment, but she is determined to find out what's going on.

"Man, you guys are in early," he comments and goes right to the coffee machine.

"Just using some quiet time to get organized again before the next case blows through," she says.

Elliot says nothing, just sits in his chair and stares at her a second before sorting through messages as she had done earlier. There is something odd in his expression, she can't quite put a finger on it, but something is definitely going on.

The day passes in relative peace. When she returns from court at 4, the place is silent. Fin and Munch are nowhere to be seen, Elliot is at his desk working on the never-ending pile of paperwork. Again hanging up her coat, she addresses the only other person in the room. 

"Where is everyone?"

"Call came in, it was Fin and Munch's turn," he says with almost no emotion.

He's been withdrawn like this all day, and it's starting to concern her. Even on the days where all they work on is paperwork and follow- ups, Elliot is joking around or throwing assorted items across the expanse of their desks at her. They almost always go to lunch together, but today he had begged off with some lame excuse.

Sitting down, she leans over her desk slightly and speaks to him in low tones.

"What is wrong with you?"

He looks up at her with another of those strange expressions that she would almost swear was sadness if she didn't know better. "Nothing."

"Don't nothing me, Elliot. I know you better than that." Pausing, she chews the inside of her cheek slightly. "You have been acting off all day, starting after that meeting with Cragen this morning. What's going on?"

"Can we talk about this later?" he asks, and his serious expression sends a shiver through her.

"Yeah, of course. Everything ok with Kathy and the kids?"

"Yeah. Later, k?" This time she can hear the tiredness in his voice.

"Sure."

"Thanks, Liv."

She nods and slides back into her chair, watching him closely. He does nothing except go back to his background checks, all but ignoring her.

Knocking at her door brings Olivia out of the book she is reading. Raising one eyebrow, she looks at the clock in the living room and realizes it's 9 already; last she knew it was 2 hours ago. More knocking inspires her to get up off the couch and head to the door cautiously, since she isn't expecting anyone. Looking through the peephole, she is surprised to see her partner. When he had said later, she didn't think he'd meant tonight at her apartment. She opens the door to find a very wet Elliot Stabler. Quickly, she waves him in.

"El," she says in greeting.

"Hey, Liv. I hope you don't mind the visit."

"No, but when you said later, I didn't think you meant tonight. Hang on, let me get you a towel." She walks away and down the hall in her apartment, raising her voice so she can talk as she walks. "What did you do? Walk here from Queens?"

"No, though I might as well have. Parking in the city is a nightmare…thanks," he says as she hands him a towel to dry off. "I had to park 2 blocks down."

She shrugs and enters the kitchen. He follows behind her. "Coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"It could have waited until tomorrow, you know. When it's not raining." She turns to him after setting the coffee maker and leans one hip on the counter. He's standing at the other end of the kitchen, mostly dry now.

"No, it couldn't."

"All right, what the hell is going on?" Her expression is terse; she's had enough of whatever it is.

"Sit down, I have to tell you something."

Slowly she sits, her eyes never leaving him. "What?"

He sits across the table from her and sighs loudly. "First, I want you to know something. You are, bar none, the best partner I've ever had."

"Elliot…"

Finally he spits it out. "I've requested a transfer to Narcotics."

Nothing could have shocked her more; that is the last think she ever expected to hear from him. She literally cannot speak. Too many thoughts are flowing through her head to grab one and form a coherent sentence. She swallows the lump in her throat and stands up, getting both of their coffees, still silent. Returning to the table, she sets his down in front of him but before she can sit back down he lightly grasps her hand.

"I know it's a shock, and it's not you Liv, god, it's so not you. It's just….Kathy has been putting pressure on me about hours and the kids are growing up without me. I only have a few more years before Dicky and Elizabeth are lost into adulthood. I've already lost Kathleen and Maureen."

She looks down at him and gives him a sad smile. "You don't have to explain your actions to me, Elliot. I understand, really. But Narcotics? They work close to the same hours we do." 

"There is a new position that they are starting. Its basically coordinating all the bust information from all 5 boroughs so they can better track what's going on and improve department communication. It's as close to 9 to 5 as I can get. Cragen put in word and I heard today I got it."

Pulling her hand away, she sits back down, staring down into the coffee. This time he gives her time to think and says nothing. She scratches at the bridge of her nose the way she does when she is tired or frustrated. "I…" She pauses and looks up at him, pressing her lips closed, taking a deep breath through her nose. "I'm going to miss you El. God, its been what? Seven years now? I guess I should have figured it wouldn't last forever, but it's so unexpected."

He reaches across the table and places his larger hand over her small one. "I know. Maybe I should have said something when I started asking around, but if it didn't work out then…" He takes a deep breath. "I'm going to miss you too Liv."

They both sit in silence for a while, contemplating what the future will hold. Elliot breaks the silence first. "I'm sorry." 

She snaps her head up at him. "For what? Wanting to be with your family? That's nothing to be sorry for."

"No, I mean for leaving you with Munch and Fin," he deadpans.

At that she smiles and laughs lightly before taking on a tone of mock annoyance. "I hadn't even considered that, thanks." 

He smiles back. "You have no idea how much I agonized about this, Liv."

"Leaving me with Munch and Fin? I think I can handle them." She raises her eyebrows at him and pulls her hand out from under his.

He sighs and shakes his head. "You know what I'm talking about." At her nod of assent, he continues. "I love my job, hard as it is, it's equal parts frustration and fulfillment. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to work with either, especially you. We've kept each other sane over the years. I don't know who is going to keep me in line now."

"Hmmm, well if you think you're getting out of control, just give me a call. I think I can straighten you out over the phone. Your not leaving the state, El; we can still talk to each other you know." 

"Yeah, but why does it feel like I'm never going to see you again."

She shrugs slightly. It feels that way to her also. "We'll just have to make an effort not to let that happen, ok? You're still my friend, Elliot."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Aren't I always?" She gives him a quick wink and they both smile.

Finally he looks up at the clock in her kitchen and realizes he has been there for over an hour already. Kathy hadn't been pleased about his need to talk to her in person away from the office, but Elliot had informed her this was not negotiable. Now he had spent more time then he intended at his partner's- no, former partner's- apartment. "I have to go. I'm still on for another 2 weeks before I transfer. Cragen will probably talk to you tomorrow about a partner, I know he has been looking for one."

"Great, I get stuck with the newbie."

"You always put the newbie with the best." He stands and heads to the door, sliding his now dry shoes back on. 

Turning to open her door, he surprises her by turning back and pulling her into a hug, his arms wrapped around her waist. Startled by his sudden show of emotion, she doesn't react, but eventually wraps her arms around his waist. They stay like that for what seems like an eternity to her, but is really only 10 seconds or so. She never realized how strong his arms were, or how good they felt around her. Startled for a second time, she wonders where that thought had come from. At that moment, he chooses to release her and step back to the door.

"Bye, Liv." She swears she hears his voice cracking a little.

"Bye, El."

Quietly, she shuts the door behind her and leans against it. She takes a deep breath to control the emotions she feels welling up. This feels worse then a relationship break up. She has come to depend on Elliot; she always knows he will be there for her no matter what. Someone had once told her that partners were like blood. She denied the implication at the time, but now she understands. She feels like part of herself is missing, and he isn't even gone yet.

tbc………………………….


	3. Consequences

Title: Genesis 3/9

Author: CSIphile/Hipinapple

Disclaimers/Rating: All on the first chapter.

Summary: The beginning of the end.

AN: Thank you to everyone who let me know they are enjoying the fic!  I must apologize for my lateness, RL has been a real pain and I haven't had much time to get it all pretty for y'all! 

Sniffle, Elliot's leaving…..

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2 Weeks Later, Squad Room

Olivia tries hard not to look at the clock on the wall; she's been avoiding time all day today. In her line of work time is always the enemy, counting down a victim's life, the time to catch a predator, or when a statute expires. Today is no different; time is still her enemy, but for an entirely different reason. Today it counts down to Elliot's last day with the squad, with her. At 6 PM, he will no longer be her partner and starting on Monday, she gets a new one. Sighing loudly she takes a sip of her coffee and almost spits it right back out; it has obviously been sitting there a while. Cringing, she glances at the clock -- yup the coffee has been there five hours to be exact. It's now five o'clock: one hour…60 minutes left. `Ok Liv, stop it, you're making yourself crazy,' she thinks and goes back to checking on her suspect's alibi. 

She hangs up the phone with a satisfied smile and is surprised by a familiar baritone voice; she thought she was alone in the crib. She had come up here to make her calls because the noise downstairs was starting to get on her nerves, mostly because various detectives and cops kept coming in to congratulate Elliot and wish him well, and every time she heard someone tell him good luck her heart sinks a little more. Somewhere inside she berates herself for being so emotional.

"Did you nail him?" he asks, as he sits across from her at the table.

"You bet your ass I did. His alibi is no trip to Europe." She smiles at him and he returns it in kind, the inside joke not lost on him.

"Good, guess that means you'll be joining us later then?"

It is less a question than a statement. "Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"What are you doing up here anyway?"

"Just trying to blow holes in our guy's…" She pauses and looks at him. "…alibi. I guess it's my guy now." 

"And you can't do that downstairs."

"Too loud."

He nods and gives her a look of understanding. "Seven ok?"

"Yeah. See you there."

"Good, wouldn't be much of a going away party if the one person I care about isn't there." 

Olivia stares at him, somehow surprised by his statement. Infrequently they do discuss their feelings about each other, and his statement is as close to feelings as Elliot and Olivia seem to get. It always was an unspoken agreement that this is ground they simply do not cover. It's just understood that their relationship is grounded in a depth of caring that went beyond what you typically have in a personal relationship.

"Y..yeah I'll be there. Seven," she stutters a bit, the reality of the situation finally hitting home for her.

"Good." He touches her shoulder lightly, giving it a small reassuring squeeze. She doesn't look up at him, she can't. Olivia is afraid that if she looks into his eyes she'll break down, something Olivia Benson simply does not do. Instead she places her hand on his and allows it to linger for a moment before pulling away.

He doesn't say another word, just allows his hand to fall and walks away, giving her a small smile before disappearing down the stairs. She watches him go and sighs loudly, putting her head back and closing her eyes briefly. This is turning out to be much harder then she was anticipating, much harder.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Chauncys Bar & Grille

10pm

The place is packed with cops- detectives, some brass, beat cops. Elliot had made a lot of friends in his tenor at SVU. Even those who had hated him came to congratulate him; it's just what you did as a fellow cop.

She watches him out of the corner of her eye; she's actually been doing it for the last three hours, all the while keeping up a steady stream of conversation with Fin and Munch and whoever happened to wander by and talk to her. Don't let anyone say Olivia can't multi- task, as she briefly watches him enjoy the attention, as various people congratulate him and offer to by him yet another drink. 

On the outside she seems the happy former partner; glad to see her friend move on to something bigger and better. Smiling at people who come up to talk to her, laughing even while inside she feels horrible. Distressed at the loss of a good partner, friend, and confidant. But at the same time, disturbed by her overly emotional reaction; he isn't divorcing her; this isn't a marriage, though on some level that's what it feels like. Looking over again at him, she catches his eye and he winks at her. Tilting her head slightly, she smiles back at him.

Two hours later the place is still jammed with people -- new ones replacing the ones that left, most of those drinking themselves into oblivion. Olivia had stopped an hour ago. She knew her limit and was conscious of when she hit it; with an alcoholic mother she had to be.

She had been carrying on a conversation with a former squad member from the two-two, but when he departs, she decides that air is in order and quietly slips out the back door. Sighing loudly she sits on a small bench. The back of the bar has the fortune of having a small picnic area behind it.

She hasn't been there but ten minutes when she hears the back door creak open. She knows who it is, but turns anyway to acknowledge his arrival.

"Hey," he says quietly and moves to stand next to her.

"Hey," she replies in an equally low voice, hoping the sadness she feels isn't as obvious as she thinks it is.

"Hiding?"

"Thinking."

"Hmmmm," he responds and steps around the bench, sitting down next to her. "About what?"

She turns to him and tilts her head again with an `As if you don't know' expression. 

He nods slightly and they sit in silence for a bit. Finally she leans forward, putting her knees on her thighs, her head in her hands.

"You've heard about the new guy?" she asks into the dark.

"Yeah, I checked him out. Good record, couple commendations, justified shoot a while back -- he was cleared of liability."

Shocked, she sits up and looks at him. "Mother's maiden name? Blood type? Astrological sign?"

He ignores her sarcasm and takes on a serious tone. "Don't want to leave my partner in the wrong hands."

"I'm not your partner anymore El. I haven't been for…" she stops and looks at her watch. "Six hours."

"You'll always be my partner Olivia, and I'm always going to look out for you."

"Elliot…" she starts, but struggles with the words. Plus, something in his tender tone has really gotten to her. She has to concentrate to hold back the tears that threaten and looks away from him into the dark night.

She can feel him looking at her though, staring at her. She sniffles slightly and feels a warm hand on her back, lightly running up and down in a comforting gesture.

"Liv…I don't know what to say," he practically whispers. "I'm going to miss you more than you know. I'm going to miss watching you break a suspect down, miss that look you get when we nail someone, miss having you around every day."

Slowly she turns to look over her shoulder at him, hoping that the dark hides the tears that had managed to slip through while he was talking. She knew that it didn't when the hand that had been resting on her back slides up and pulls her into him, so she is resting her head on his shoulder.

Initially Olivia is stiff in his arms, unfamiliar with this side of Elliot. She's always known him to be gentle with victims, but Olivia has never been on the receiving end of his comfort. But for a little while she decides to give into it, relaxing into his shoulder and staring at the cloudless sky.

For a long while they sit in comfortable silence, each enjoying the other's company. She is acutely aware of the heat coming off his body, and of his hand absently fingering the sleeve of her light blue shirt, his fingers occasionally brushing against her skin lightly. 

I'm sorry," she finally says quietly.

"For what?" he asks, and stops his movements on her arm.

"For…for getting all emotional. I didn't want to, and honestly I don't know why I am."

"Damn, Liv, don't apologize. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't emotional too. It's hard to leave something so familiar, something so good. We've been together so long; we've forgotten what it's like to be apart."

"Yeah, well, I don't see you almost crying outside a bar," she retorts.

"No, but that's cause I'm a man and I'm not allowed to cry."

Lifting her head, she looks at him to gauge the seriousness of his words. He looks serious, she decides, and returns her head to its position on his shoulder.

"It's just you and me out here, you know."

"Yeah, I know." His tone holds a quality she's never heard from Elliot before. Defeat laced with regret. At the same time his hand starts slowly sliding up and down her arm. "I'm just a phone call away, Liv, and just a few blocks. So if that partner of yours starts giving you grief, you let me know."

This time she can hear the mirth in his voice. "I handled you, Stabler, I think I can handle some newbie."

She can feel the laugh in his chest, rumbling slightly against her. "Of that I have NO doubt, Benson." 

Again silence reigns and they both look up into the sky, admiring the stars twinkling on them, both having feelings of déjà vu. Finally Elliot breaks the silence.

"Seriously, Liv -- if you need me, call me."

She is silent for a minute before pulling away from him and sitting up, her back instantly feeling the cold against it. "I'm going to miss your stoop."

Grinning, he sits up next to her, his shoulders just brushing against hers as they talk. "How many hours have we spent there?"

"Too many to count. We've had our best arguments there."

In unison they speak. "Plummer."

A somber silence overcomes them and she breaks it first. "That was… unpleasant. Did I ever apologize for that?"

"I can't remember," he says, confusion evident in his tone.

"Well I am. Regardless of your behavior, I should have listened to what you and Cragen were telling me."

"Glad to know you see it my way… Even if it is three years later." He looks at her and smiles.

"Better late than never."

He snorts slightly. "Sure."

Absently, she bumps his shoulder with hers and gives him a sly look. "You better get back to your party."

Leaning in, he whispers in her ear. "They haven't missed me yet. Besides, I'd rather be out here."

She shivers slightly, not sure if it's from the September air or his breath on her ear. No, she knows which it is and she feels like a line has been crossed, intentionally or not. But at the same time, she liked him invading her personal space. It felt...right to her, on some level. Shuddering, Olivia stands and steps away from the bench. Elliot quickly follows suit, coming to a stop right in front of her; something in his eyes tells her that he felt it too. The tiniest spark of something when he leaned into her, when he whispered into her ear, a spark of something neither of them is willing to acknowledge.

"I guess I ought to go back," he says quietly while looking at his feet.

"Yeah…yeah," she replies, equally fascinated with the ground.

Without warning, he pulls her into another hug, this one fiercer and more emotional than before. He grabs onto her like he will never see her again, despite their protests to the contrary. Easily she sinks into him. Burying her face into his shoulder, she can hear his heart beating a mile a minute, feel his arms tighten slightly around her waist. She feels him shift slightly to bring his lips closer to her ear, speaking in a hushed, yet distressed tone.

"Bye, Livia."

With that, he kisses the top of her head and releases her, swiftly moving to the door. Without looking back at her, he opens it and steps inside. She knows why; if he turns to look at her, he might not be able to leave.

tbc…………………


	4. Reunions

Genesis 4/?

Author: CSIphile/Hipinapple

Disclaimers: Blah, blah, woof, woof, I don't own them.

Summary: They are separated, but is it forever?

Thanks: To everyone who gave me a review. Thank you, I appreciate it, this is a lovely fandom to write for! If complicated.

AN1: Shannon…ohh that's just embarrassing, I cant believe neither my beta or I noticed those mistakes. Ill have to fix them. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


Eight Weeks Later

Donald Cragen's Office

"NO! Don, absolutely not! I've HAD it with him."

Don Cragen looks at his detective and cringes slightly, Olivia is pissed, and angrier than he has ever seen her before. Her eyes are a dangerous black, the pupils and iris indistinguishable from each other. He raises his hands in what should be a calming gesture, but it only manages to infuriate her further. 

Olivia...cut him a break."

She had been facing the door and at that statement, she spins around, an indescribable look on her face.

"No…I'm not cutting him ANY break. He fucking YELLED at our victim. YELLED, Don. A woman who has already been violated enough – she didn't need that. We'll be lucky if she ever comes back to finish her statement. He cost us a collar."

"Olivia, he hasn't been in the unit long enough…"

"Jesus, Don! Common sense should tell you that you don't accuse a  
rape victim of making it up, even if you think she is!"  
  
He watches as her eyes narrow suspiciously at him. "Why are you going to bat for him?"

"Why? Because if I recall, Olivia, I gave you more than one free pass when you got emotional."

"Nooooo," she draws out and stalks closer to him. "There's something else; there's a difference between being emotional and being an asshole. What's going on?"

He sighs and sits down, motioning for her to do the same, which, thankfully, she does. "He's the mayor's nephew."

A shocked expression covers her face. "I'm sorry…I thought you just said he was the mayor's nephew."

"I did. It's his sister's boy. He wanted to get here on his own merit, which he did, but the mayor is insistent that he stays."

"I…don't believe this. How could you let them do this? This isn't a unit that has time to babysit the mayor's nephew, or anyone's for that matter." With a frustrated groan, she gets out of the chair and starts pacing, thinking. "He didn't get here on merit alone, Don – I don't care what you think. I bet he's only here to pad his resume too. JESUS!"

As she talks and thinks it out Don can see her anger increasing by the step. "Olivia, why don't you take a break…"

She cuts him off sharply, her voice terse. "Yeah, I will. I'm going for a walk. Get some air…"

"Good. Good," he says to her retreating back.

*~*~*~*

She has walked pretty mindlessly for a while, unobserving of the people around her, the weather, hell, even the direction she is taking. Olivia could step into the Hudson River right now and her only thought would probably be, `Well now I'm wet'.

The thoughts are flying through her head, only causing her to become more angry and walk faster to her as-yet-undetermined destination. The mayor's nephew…the fucking mayor's nephew. It felt like a slap in the face to her in particular; she had worked damn hard to get into this position, while it was just handed to him. Elliot's words ran through her head.

"Good record, couple commendations, justified shoot a while back. He was cleared of liability."

She wondered if maybe uncle hadn't cleared that shoot for him. Which again sent her blood boiling. If the mayor had cleared it, then what else had he done to ensure his nephew's acceptance into the unit. Finally stopping, she looks up and realizes where she is.

"Figures," she mutters.

She is two blocks from Elliot's new station house. They hadn't really spoken since the night of his party. Elliot too busy trying to create a new job and organize it, and she herself has been busy training the new guy. She snorts lightly at the thought of her partner and makes a decision, walking toward the building.

Entering the building, she stops at the desk sergeant and flashes her badge.

"Elliot Stabler?"

"Down the hall, first right. He's at the back."

She thanks the officer and makes her way down the hall, taking in the surroundings around her. If possible, this station is louder than hers. She easily finds the bullpen and a quick look around the room finds it very similar to her own: partners' desks in the middle with a few offices lining the back wall. Heading to the back, she is surprised to find that Elliot has his own office. Smirking, she approaches to find him facing the other way, talking on the phone. Pausing in the doorframe, she leans one hip against it as she watches him twirl a pen in one hand while listening to the other person.

While waiting, she looks around his office; smaller than Cragen's, but warmer somehow. Leaning in slightly, she looks at the cabinets that line the wall she is currently resting against. There are one or two pictures setting on the tops of the standard beige cabinets. Looking closely she recognizes one of his family and one of just him and Maureen. She smiles slightly as he starts to talk and immediately she recognizes the tone in his voice. She's heard it enough before; Kathy is on the phone.

"No, no…Kath, I…look we'll talk when I get home, ok? Yes, 6, not a problem. Bye." With that he puts the phone down and sighs, still unaware of her presence. She hadn't considered he might be on a private call.

Unsure how to announce herself, the problem solves itself when he turns in the chair and freezes momentarily at the sight of her. "Liv!" he says brightly, a 180 from his tone on the phone. 

Jerking her thumb up and indicating retreat, she says, "I'm sorry. I should go."

"No, no. Please. Not a problem. Come in." He waves her in and gets up from behind the desk, approaching her almost cautiously before pulling her into a brief hug.

As they pull away, she smiles and teases him. "Fancy office you got here. I'm jealous."

"Don't be. The fancy office means too much responsibility."

She shrugs slightly before following his lead and sitting in one of the two chairs in front of his desk. Elliot sits in the other, watching her carefully.

"What's going on?" he asks.

"Nothing. Just thought I'd pay my former partner a visit." She gives him her best forced smile but instantly knows he isn't buying it.

"At 2 on a Wednesday? Looking like you are ready to go 12 rounds with Tyson? Try again."

"You are too good a detective for your own good." This time her smile is genuine.

"No, I just know you too well for my own good." He pauses a moment before continuing. "What's going on?"

She snorts slightly before telling him what had happened earlier in interrogation, leaving out the mayor's nephew part.

"Cragen let him get away with that?"

"Oh yeah, and you'll never believe why." At his curious look she continues. "He's the mayor's nephew."

"You're kidding me."

"I wish I was."

"I guess I'm not as good a detective as you thought."

"Huh?"

"In all my digging, I never found that piece of information."

"Well it's a pretty well hidden secret, obviously. Cragen CLAIMS he got the position on his own, but I have my doubts now."

She watches as he leans back in his chair, contemplating what she has said. "Maybe he did get there on merit, Liv."

Again she snorts derisively at him. "I don't think so. He may have been fine in Homicide when you don't have to deal with live victims, but this is different. He has almost no compassion. It's been an ongoing problem, practically since day one. I was hoping he would soften up a bit, but then today happened." She doesn't even try to hide the frustration on her face.

Elliot shifts again and leans toward her, placing a calming hand on her knee.

She looks up at him and smiles slightly. "It just frustrates me, El. He's got all the empathy of a large rock and I don't know what to do. Obviously he isn't going anywhere anytime soon."

Leaving his hand on her knee, he speaks quietly. "You don't need to deal with this, Liv; I wish I had an answer for you. Try pressuring Cragen. How's your solve rate?"

"A little lower, but they expect that with a new guy. I mean, normally this behavior wouldn't be tolerated, but…." She lets the sentence hang; they both know why.

Silence reigns for a few minutes before a knock at his door makes them both jump slightly. Quickly Elliot answers the detective's question and turns back to her.

"I should head back," she states simply.

He nods silently. "Hey, you wanna get some dinner one night? Catch up a bit?"

That gets a genuine smile out of her. "Yeah, that would be great. Since I monopolized your time with my problems." 

He waves off her apology. "No problem -- I'll call you. In the meantime, Liv… don't let him get away with it. Nephew or not, he's hurting the unit. SVU worked too hard to become what it is; you don't need one bad guy screwing it up. If you have to, keep him away from the victims."

"Yeah, I know. You're right."

"Aren't I always?"

She laughs and recalls a similar conversation they had. "Not really -- I just let you think that."

"Ohhhh you wound me, Benson."

Again she laughs before turning serious. "Thanks for listening. I  
knew you would understand."

"Anytime, Liv, anytime."

Standing, she smiles at him one more time before heading out the door, feeling less angry and more determined to do something about her partner before he drags her down with him.

*~*~*~*~*

Walking into the station house, she spots Mike talking to one of the admins. Actually it doesn't look like he was talking so much as flirting, heavily. She swiftly turns into the bullpen and sits down heavily into her chair. During the walk back, she had considered Elliot's words and decided to give it a bit more time. At the same time, however, the next time he screwed up her case, she was going to have to do something more drastic, though she didn't quite know what. Olivia does know she sure as hell isn't leaving the unit, and he isn't either unless it's of his own accord. Sighing, she eyes her partner as he returns and sits at his desk. He had to know by now what happened in Cragen's office. Nothing is really private here; the quarters are too close.

"Mike."

"Olivia."

She doesn't continue the conversation. Just looking at him seems to anger her now, though not as much as before. Finally, he breaks the silence.

"Look, I'm sorry for what happened in interrogation."

She just raises her head enough from the file she is reading to look at him, but remains silent.

"I…I shouldn't have pushed like that."

"You think?" Her tone is hard.

"I learned a lesson, ok?"

She looks at him full on now. "No, not ok. You don't `learn your lesson' on the clock here. You THINK before you open your mouth. It only takes one sentence to close a victim off, and if that happens, you're done. -- they probably wont be back."

"I know….I know."

"Obviously you don't."

"Look, I'm trying here. Cut me some slack, will you?"

That did it, Olivia is back at her boiling point now. "Are you kidding me? Slack? You've had nothing but since you GOT here." Her volume has increased dramatically, but he seems unaffected.

"I don't think this is the place," he says and gets up, heading for the crib and indicating for her to follow. She does without hesitation; she'd been willing to try and give him some benefit of the doubt, but his hollow apology put an end to that.

Fin watches as a very steamed Olivia follows her partner up the stairs. He's been watching her for the last couple weeks slowly lose whatever patience she may have had with McMahon. He looks over at his own partner and hisses to get his attention.

"Ten on Olivia chewing his ass off."

"Ten she throws him over the railing to his untimely death," he retorts with a head cock.

"Wouldn't put it past her," he snorts in response.

"You know, you haven't given me anything resembling a chance since I got here," he states as they come to a stop at the top of the stairs, facing each other.

"I don't think you are understanding here. There ARE no chances; you get it right the first time or you don't stay. That's why this unit is elite, and why people kill themselves to get here, unlike yourself."

He looks at her, surprised. "I wasn't given special treatment."

"My ass you weren't. Yeah, your service record is good, but nothing so outstanding as to warrant the position you are in. You got help."

"I worked HARD to get here, Olivia."

"Then act like it!"

"What?"

"You wanted to be here so bad, act like it. Don't act like the only reason you are here is because it looks good on your potential political resume!" At that, she steps around him, and he reaches out and grasps her upper arm.

She violently pulls away her arm and hisses at him. "Don't touch me, ever."

"Don't assume things about me, Olivia. Yeah, this will look good on my resume, but I'm also here because here you can save the victim sometimes. It's not just corpses."

She eyes him skeptically; there's something in his face that contradicts his words. Something not so honest. She lowers her voice slightly. "I have a hard time believing that, but since you are my partner, at least for the minute, I'll take it at face value."

"Don't you ever give up? Were you this hard on Stabler?"

"I didn't have to be," she states simply and heads down the stairs.

tbc……………….yeah, not much of a cliffhanger, but eh, it gets better, I promise.


	5. Dinner

Title: Genesis 5/?

Author: CSIphile/Hipinapple

Summary: Genesis: The origin or coming into being of something.

Thanks: Thank you sooo much to everyone who took the time to review, it makes my day. This is a tricky fandom to write for, so big props to those authors who came before me.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

One Week Later

Rosario's Italian Restaurant

Olivia takes a sip of her wine and looks over at her dining companion. He was pretty involved in swirling his fettuccini around his spoon so it wouldn't fall off before he got it to his mouth. She laughs lightly when he finally lifts the spoon and half the noodles slip noisily back into the bowl. 

They had enjoyed a comfortable silence since the food was served, before they had made small talk about nothing of consequence. Olivia was just glad that she and Elliot had managed to make time to see each other; it had been too long since she'd seen him where it didn't involve her complaining to him.

"How's the new position going?" she asks.

"Good. It's a lot of work, but I'm enjoying it. Hopefully in a few weeks it will be a little smoother going. Right now we still have tips coming into all the boroughs; hopefully that will be solved next week," he says after swallowing a mouthful of food.

"How are the kids?"

"Great! I see them more often now, not as much as I'd like, but maybe more when things settle down. Maureen asked about you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she says hello. I told her you were doing fine."

She nods at him and chews thoughtfully. "Tell her I said hello back."

"Ok. Are you?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you fine?"

She sighs slightly. "Yeah, I think Mike and I have come to some kind of…agreement."

"What? He doesn't talk to you and you don't yell at him?"

She snorts at that. "You're not so far from the truth actually. We…speak when we need to."

"Liv…"

"Don't worry about it, El, I've got him under control." She smirks at the end of the sentence. "How's Kathy?"

"Fine."

She looks up at his short and terse answer. "Doesn't sound fine."

It's his turn to sigh and push his empty plate to the end of the large table. She does the same and turns her attention to him. 

"I don't know, Olivia. I thought that once I transferred, it would magically all be better. That whatever problems my marriage was having would be solved because I wasn't in the job anymore."

"Didn't turn out that way?" she asks softly.

"Not exactly. I've just been so busy. Despite that, I'm still home more, which actually means there is just more time to argue with her. I don't know what to do. All these years I assumed that my work was the cause of the trouble with me and Kathy. I don't think it was, Liv; these are deeper problems than I think we both realize. I hid the truth so far behind my work, I'm not sure we can find the real problem anymore."

Without thinking, she reaches across the table and rests her small hand on his, running her thumb across his wrist. "I'm sorry, Elliot. I don't know what to say."

"Neither do we. At some point, we stopped talking to each other and now we don't know how." 

"What are you going to do?" The unspoken question was there. Would he leave her?

"I don't know. I feel like we should try to right this, but at the same time, I just don't think anything will help. I'm afraid it's too far gone."

Silence reigns for a long while before he looks up into her eyes and she sees something unfamiliar in the deep blue. Hopelessness, confusion, and regret mixed with something she can't define. Without warning, he shifts his hand and entwines his fingers with hers, forcing them both to put their elbows on the table and move a little closer. 

Again they seem to be teetering on the edge of the danger zone, not quite over the line yet, but close enough. But at the minute neither seems to care much, both enjoying the feeling of each other's skin, as minimal as the contact is.

It doesn't last long, however, before the waitress appears to clear the table and ask if they want dessert. The spell is broken and they pull apart somewhat regretfully. As soon as she returns her hand to her lap, Olivia feels guilt flow through her. She felt something when she touched him, some pull to him, a small spark of attraction that had always been there, but was never allowed out. The problem is that in his presence, she can't seem to control herself; innocent touches or looks become so much more before she can even stop it. 

In silence they settle up the bill and walk out of the restaurant into the cool New York air. Olivia shivers slightly at the temperature difference between the warm restaurant and the October air. 

"Wanna take a walk?" he asks quietly.

"Sure," she responds, and they start walking in the direction of her apartment. 

"Are you warm enough?"

She looks at him curiously. "Yeah, fine. Thanks." He's acting odd; his tone is again confusing to her. It's tender and concerned, which she's heard from him before, but just like his expression earlier, it's laced with something she can't seem to put a finger on.

"Clear night," he comments after a few minutes, and she looks up into the night sky. The usual light white clouds that hang around in the winter are nowhere to be found and it's late enough that most of the lights in the office buildings are off, affording an unusually good night to look at the stars.

"Sure is." She pauses for a moment and closes her eyes, trying to recall a long forgotten astronomy class. Finally opening them, she points to a string of stars. "Orion's belt."

He looks at her with a smile and she wiggles her eyebrows at him moving onto the next constellation. "Big dipper." This time she turns her body away from him to point out the next one. "Summer triangle. Hmmm…let see."

But before the next constellation's name escapes her lips, she feels Elliot right behind her, significantly closer then he was at the beginning of the lesson. She can feel his warm breath on her neck and is ready to pull away before he speaks into her ear, sending a warm shiver through her.

"How do you know so much about this?"

Trying to get control of her quickly warming body, she swallows hard before speaking. "I took a class in school. I wanted a change of pace class that would be fun." 

Leaning around her- and forcing them closer together, he points to another area of the sky. "Aquarius. The water goddess."

It isn't the words, it is the seductive tone in them that makes Olivia slide into his warm body until her back is pressed into his chest. She knows this isn't a good idea, but she can't seem to stop herself; something else inside has taken over. The part of her that misses being physically close to another person, that is lonely and tired of being that way, the part that doesn't seem to care that not only is this her former partner, but her **married** former partner. 

Falling silent, Elliot wraps his long arms around her, burying his face into the crook of her neck, allowing his lips to lightly brush against her skin. She leans into the sensation and closes her eyes again; never before has such a small gesture sent shivers through her. When Olivia leans into him, offering her consent, he again places his lips against the cool skin of her neck, this time allowing them to linger a bit more than before. 

"Cold?" he asks in a husky voice. He had felt the second shiver run through her.

"Not even close." Easily she turns in his arms, looking at him. Now she names the unknown emotion from earlier. Desire, need, want…all of it in one almost frightening expression. Before she can analyze the meaning behind it, he has closed the small gap between them, bringing his lips down lightly onto hers. She doesn't even have words to describe the feeling that is rushing through her at a lightening pace. Without thinking twice, she returns the kiss with slightly more vigor than he had started it. He doesn't miss a beat in returning what she gave and then some, quickly escalating the contact.

Before either of them knew it, he has one hand running through her hair, one of her hands has managed to work its way onto his chest, pressing hard against it as he pushed against her. And the kiss that started tentative and easy eclipses into bruising and lustful.

He pulls away for a moment to catch his breath and lightly moans her name as he does. Something about him saying her name in a wanting tone snaps something in her. The fog of desire that has nicely settled over her, allowing her to ignore the moral problem with what was happening, lifts enough for her to rationalize where this would be going if they didn't stop. And while she wants nothing more than to go down that road, she knows they couldn't…she couldn't. She respected him and his marriage too much. So against the pleas of her body, which was aching for him, she pulls away.

"El, we cant." She leaves one hand on his chest and takes a step back, needing the space.

"You're right. God, you're right." He takes a step back also, but keeps his eyes fixed on her, allowing his frustration to show through. 

"I'm sorry, Elliot. I just can't…"

Tentatively he moves back to her. "I know…don't apologize. I should know better."

"We BOTH should." It was a lapse in judgment on both their parts. She didn't see either one of them as being more to blame than the other. He nods in agreement and gestures with his hand that they should continue walking.

"I'll walk you home."

"Yeah…ok." She smiles slightly and continues on the path they had been taking.

A strangely comfortable silence ensues for the remaining four blocks to her apartment building. Both are contemplating whether there would be any ramifications to what had happened. At this point, neither knew what those ramifications would be. She didn't expect a sudden proclamation of love, or that he was leaving his wife, or that he would even call her again. Olivia is more pragmatic than that. Besides, it was one kiss. One unbelievable, earth shattering kiss, but just a kiss nonetheless. 

She remembers having a conversation many years ago with him about soul mates coming in different forms; he had dismissed her easily. Now she wonders if she posed the question again if he would again reject the notion. A soul mate is a soul mate, if it's a man twice your age, your high school sweetheart, or your former partner. 

Coming to a stop at the stairs, they turn to each other. For a while they just stand there, not sure what to say. Finally he laughs lightly and she gives him a strange look.

"What's so funny?"

"I can't remember a time when we were speechless around each other."

She grins broadly. "No, me either. But…"

"Yeah. But." He reaches out and grasps her upper arm. "Are we ok?"

"We are." The answer comes without pause. She is sure that if nothing else, they can remain friends. 

"Good. Look…God, this is one conversation I never imagined having with you. I just…dammit! I want more than one kiss, Liv, and as much as my heart and body wants me to just fuck reason and ask to come up…my brain is telling me I can't." 

"Its ok, El…"

He cuts her off with a quiet voice. "No, it's not. If I hadn't kissed you, I wouldn't be feeling like this. It's not fair to you. I can't ask you to sit on the sidelines while I decide what to do." Suddenly he stops talking and it looks like he is contemplating something. "You…do feel the same, right?"

"If by 'the same', you mean I want you with every part of my body, then yes. God, yes."

He gives her a look that tells her he's feeling the same thing. "I'm not going to ask you to wait for me. You mean too much to me for that. But I'll tell you this: I have some thinking to do. I can't promise anything, Liv, but I can't ignore this. I can't dismiss it with a wave of the hand and a 'we can still be friends'." Hesitantly, he reaches up and touches her face, cradling her jaw lightly. 

"I understand. Really, I do. You have more at stake here then I do, by a long shot. Take some time, El. I think we are adult enough not to allow this to affect our friendship… right?"

"Absolutely." He drops his hand.

She nods. "Goodnight, Elliot." She leans over and gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek, resisting the urge to move an inch to the right to make contact with his lips. Instead, she moves the other way, letting her cheek rest on his and speaks in a hushed tone. "The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for."

Standing up, she gives him a small smile and heads up the stairs, venturing one last glance before opening the door and stepping inside.

"Oh, you're worth it," he says to no one and turns to flag down a cab. 

tbc…………………………..


	6. Hurt

Title: Genesis Chapter 6/9

Author: CSIphile/H

AN: Wow, you guys are the best. I never in a million years thought I would get THIS many reviews for this fic. I thought I would post my little fic, get a few reviews and have the warm fuzzies all over. Instead I am drowning in the warm fuzzies, its such a great feeling. Thank you SO much to everyone who has reviewed. Just for that I'll probably post two chapters today, one this morning and one this afternoon, you guys so deserve it!

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SVU Squadroom

One Week Later

"Elliot!" Fin's boisterous voice announces through the bullpen.

Elliot wasn't expecting such a loud reception and smiles at his old squad mate. "Fin! Man, how's it going?" he says, shaking the other man's hand.

"Good, good. How you enjoying those Narc boys?"

"I thought I was thickheaded until I met them. You try getting five boroughs to cooperate with each other and share information."

Fin laughs lightly. "Yeah, Narc doesn't like to share."

"Not much. How's everyone?"

"Good. Munch is in court right now. I think Cragen is in his office."

Elliot looks around quickly, searching for the face of the person he came for. Not seeing her, he turns his attention back to the other man. "Ok, I'll catch him in a bit. Where's Olivia?"

Elliot watches as something dark crosses Fin's face while he considers his answer. Concerned, he repeats the question. "Where is she?"

"Home."

Elliot scrunches his face as he considers this. "Home? Why?"

"Cragen sent her home. She hasn't left the precinct in 4 days; she was a zombie. When she stopped arguing with Mike for more than 2 minutes we knew she needed to go."

"But why…" Suddenly something dawns on him. "Is she on the Repeat Rapist case?"

"Yeah, she is." Something in his tone tells Elliot that Olivia isn't handling it as well as she usually does. "She insisted…as did her partner."

"Of course she did." He sighs loudly and shakes his head. "Thanks Fin. Tell Cragen I'll be by again."

"No problem man."

Without another word Elliot walks out of his old station house, making one call to his desk sergeant to let him know he would be gone longer than he thought, and another to Kathy.

Olivia Benson's Apartment

He knocks on the door, and then waits before knocking again. Elliot repeats this process two or three times before starting to get worried. Frowning he pulls out his trump card: her key.

Elliot has never had occasion to use the key; she had given it to him a long time ago, and it has rested on his key chain, unused- until now. He hadn't even used it after the Plummer incident, knowing it was better to leave her alone than to try and force her to talk; but this is a different set of circumstances. 'Repeat, Jesus,' he thinks, and turns the key in the door, pushing it open slowly while calling her name.

"Olivia?" He closes the door. 

"Liv, you here?" He shrugs out of his coat and walks into her living room.

"Livvie!" he calls out in a taunting tone, knowing she hates that nickname.

Moving to the back of the apartment, he finds her…sleeping. "No wonder I couldn't find you -- you're doing what you were told," he mutters and steps into the room. 

Finally something dawns on him: he'd been yelling her name and she hadn't woken up. Every cop Elliot knows would wake up at the sound of a pin drop; it's just a learned behavior. This realization increases his concern, and he approaches the bed with trepidation.

Sweeping his eyes over her, he notices nothing wrong; she is sleeping on her stomach, her back rising and falling in a methodical rhythm. Something on her night table catches his eye, though: a prescription bottle. 'Damn Liv,' he thinks and picks it up, already knowing the contents. 

Sleeping pills. Olivia only ever took them if she was desperate for a dreamless sleep. He should have checked on her earlier. Should have figured she would be working the worst serial rapist case to hit New York in years.

Carefully he sits on the edge of her bed, pushing hair off her face and tucking it neatly behind her ear. She shifts slightly, moving her body closer to his, as if sensing his presence, and murmurs in her sleep. Sighing, Elliot tosses his shoes onto the floor and swings his feet up onto the bed, resting his head against the headboard, sitting on top of the covers.

She awakens to warmth. Not the regular warmth of her apartment, a different kind of warmth. A comforting warmth. As her senses slowly return through the drug-induced fog, Olivia realizes she is lying next to a person. Immediately the fog is gone, replaced by an awareness that she did not fall asleep with another person in her bed. Sitting up and moving away from the body, she is relieved to see the face of her former partner staring at her.

"Nice to see you awake."

"Damn, Elliot, you scared me. Wait…what are you doing here and how did you get in?"

"Key, remember?" At her nod, he takes a minute to look at her. Dark circles rim her eyes, her skin has lost some of its healthy glow, but the most dramatic difference is in her eyes…they seem to have lost something, but he's not sure what. Reaching out, he pushes hair off her cheek. "You ok?"

"Fine," she states shortly and gets out of bed, obviously without regard for the fact that Elliot is there, as she is only wearing a tank top and underwear. 

"Yeah, 'cause you always use pills to sleep." That earns him a glare from her as she pulls on a pair of track pants and walks out of the room. 

Quickly, he gets up and follows her; he can hear her bare feet slapping against the linoleum in her kitchen. Turning the corner, he finds her putting coffee in the machine and yawning. He is about to speak when her voice stops him.

"Why are you here?" She looks honestly confused.

"I was worried. I went to the station house to see you, but Fin said you went home. He told me you were on that case."

"And what? You automatically assumed that I couldn't handle it?" He watches the regret flash over her face as she says it.

"No. I was worried because he said you hadn't slept in four days and were walking around like a zombie. And I know you, you get…so distracted in a case, you forget everything else."

"I wasn't distracted by the case."

"Bullshit. Don't try to pull that crap with me, Liv. The reason I went to the station was because I hadn't heard from you since…that night. That's just not like you."

Heavily, she sits in one of the kitchen chairs, pulling one knee up to her chest. She looks more like a teenager than a seasoned detective. "Look, it's a rough case, yeah, I got…distracted, ok? I got some sleep and I'm fine."

He follows suit and sits in the chair next to her, sliding as close as he can get without invading her space. "Talk to me."

"You know about it. Five days this week a guy has followed women home from rape crisis meetings, raped, and killed them. There's no pattern we can see to which meetings he goes to and we don't even know HOW he knows where they are. All the women have been raped-the first time- in the last year. Four out of five rapes were investigated by our unit. That's about it." She shrugs and gets up to get coffee, getting a strange feeling of déjà vu as she remembers the last time he was in her apartment.

"That's not it, Liv. If I wanted to know about the case, I would have called Cragen."

Returning, she places a cup in front of him and returns to her original position. "What do you want from me?"

"This case is killing you -- I can see it. Does your partner even know how much this is getting to you?"

Sighing, she looks down into the cup, watching the brown liquid settle in its container. "No. Besides, it's not that bad. I just had a really rough night last night."

"Why?" he prods. He can tell she is holding something back.

"The last victim…was Carrie Hewitt." He sees tears spring into her eyes and gets off his chair, kneeling next to her and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Oh God, Olivia." He can feel her shaking in his arms as he holds her. "I'm so sorry, Liv…"

At that, she pulls back and wipes her tears away. "Nothing to be sorry for; I'm not dead, she is."

"No, but I know you're hurting too," he whispers, and touches her cheek lightly.

"I…" she starts but stops and bites a trembling lower lip. "She was finally through the worst of it, you know? When they can see that life will go on, when they accept they are changed, but learn to at least like who they are now. God, Elliot…"

With that, Olivia stands and walks to the other side of the kitchen, turning to face him after a few seconds. "She…" Again she stops and looks down, trying to say what she needs without breaking down. Looking back up, she finds Elliot now standing in front of her, looking worried. 

"Liv, it's not your fault. No one saw this coming."

"I told her everything would be fine, Elliot. I told her life would get better and she would get better. I lied to her." Swallowing, she tightens her lips in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. Again she speaks, this time in a whisper. "I lied to her."

He takes a step forward and pulls her into him, resting his chin on her head. "You didn't know, you couldn't," he says as he strokes her back with one hand.

"I could have warned her, told her to be careful. He was targeting brunettes specifically," she mumbles into his chest, not wanting to move. She needs someone to lean on, and he was right -- this case is quickly killing her emotionally. Never before has something hit her to the core so hard and so quickly. 

"Liv…wait. Wasn't Carrie blonde?"

She lifts her head slightly. "Yeah, she…she went back to brown because every time she looked in the mirror, she saw someone who was raped. She thought that wouldn't happen if she let her hair return to its natural color. It didn't help….and it probably killed her."

Gently, he pulls her away from him. "Olivia, you couldn't have done anything. It's not your fault. You couldn't have warned every brunette in counseling. Besides, who's to say if you had warned her, it would have been different? You can't kill yourself over if's."

"I try not to, Elliot. But there are so damn many! What if I HAD warned her? Maybe if we tried harder, we would have caught him by now." She backs out his grasp and walks away from him, picking up the coffee mugs and putting them in her sink. She can feel him approach her, but doesn't move, allowing him to enter her personal space. 

"Liv…I KNOW you. And I know that you did your best, you cannot expect more from yourself. I know you want this guy so bad, you can feel it pulling at you. But you need to be careful, because I also know that you will neglect yourself, and you're not helping anyone doing that." Again he reaches out and touches her cheek, and she leans into his hand slightly, needing the physical contact. 

"Have you eaten today?" he asks and drops his hand. It's near six already.

"Ummm…no, I don't think so."

"Ok, let's order from that Chinese place you like so much," he says and starts looking around for the menu he knows she has hidden somewhere.

"Elliot, you need to get home. I'm fine."

He gives her an incredulous look and starts opening drawers in random order, looking for his prize. "I called Kathy earlier -- it's fine. Besides, I could really stand some…AH HA!"

Olivia watches as he waves around the takeout menu and shakes her head. "Fine. Somehow I don't think you will leave until I've eaten anyway."

"Nope," he comments and quickly places the order. 

tbc……………………………..


	7. Genesis STRONG PG13

Title: Genesis 7/9

Author: csiphile/hipinapple

AN: As promised here is another chapter today. Again, THANK YOU for the reviews, I so appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I anticipate the entire fic being posted by Christmas.

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Olivia stares at him incredulously over her plate of chicken fried rice and grins. Once the food had arrived, they had moved into the living room to eat, both seated on the couch next to each other. "Fin? Our Fin?"

He smiles at her and swallows part of the egg roll he had been chewing. "There's only one."

"Unreal…I just can't picture that." She takes another mouthful of food and is honestly grateful he had forced her to eat. She is starting to feel better physically, if not emotionally. Putting down her food on the coffee table, she looks at him. "You didn't have to come over here, you know."

"Yeah, I did," he says, and places his plate next to hers. "I was concerned, and you're my friend, Olivia. Besides, I didn't exactly see your partner worrying about you."

"He doesn't need to worry about me, El. We aren't exactly on friendly terms."

He shakes his head in apparent annoyance. "Shouldn't matter, Liv, and you know it. When you're on the job, you watch each other's backs…no matter what. That includes making sure the other person doesn't fall off the emotional edge."

She nods and looks down, suddenly fascinated with the beige upholstery on her couch. "You always did it for me," she says, sadly. 

"Exactly, and you've put me in my place more than once. Liv…work partners are as important as any relationship you'll have. You have to trust each other."

Again, she nods -- this isn't somewhere she really wants to go with him. While it would be a relief to express her distaste of her current partner, she doesn't think telling Elliot would be wise. She isn't in the mood for a showdown between her current and former partners.

"Liv…Liv…stop." He grabs her hand that had been unconsciously playing with the edge of a cushion. With one hand lightly grasping her wrist, the other hooks her chin and forces her to look at him. "Do you trust him?"

"I…He's a good detective -- he broke a case wide open the other day." She's really not sure why she suddenly defends Mike; maybe only to spare herself from admitting how unsure of him she really is.

"No…do you trust him with your life?" he prods gently.

"No. I don't." Sighing, she looks at him steadily. "He seems to only be concerned about how his jacket looks instead of the victim. He wants to pull the biggest cases with the most exposure. He gets the `little' cases done, but not with the same effort. It bothers me, and I just can't seem to trust him…I try, but I can't. I think my subconscious knows something I don't."

"I'm so sorry, Liv."

She tilts her head at him and leans one shoulder against the back of the couch with one leg tucked under her, facing him. "Why? You didn't ask for him to replace you."

"No, but if I hadn't left…"

"No `ifs' remember? Besides, lets be realistic, Stabler -- one of us was getting stuck in that place alone eventually. The chances of keeping the same partner over a career are slim to none."

He nods and turns to face her, closing the distance between them. "Still, I wish you hadn't gotten stuck with that ass."

"You know…let's not discuss him anymore."

"Ok," he agrees and they just stare at each other for a moment. At some point, she had turned her hand over and their fingers had entwined of their own accord. Now she stares at their hands in front of her, and suddenly Olivia is very aware of the effect he is having on her. Her whole body is warm and she shifts slightly, only putting herself in closer proximity to him. It's not even the physical closeness that seems to be setting her off -- it's the look on his face, with his eyes never leaving hers. Watching her every movement like a predator would watch prey. When his free hand reaches across the back of the couch where it had been resting, and strokes her collarbone with a thumb, she knows she needs to stop this now, or she might not be able to at all.

"I should clean up…" she says, weakly, and pulls away slightly, but his grip on her hand prevents Olivia from getting far.

"Don't," he whispers.

Silently, she slides back into her original position so they are facing each other on the couch again. After a pregnant pause, he leans in slowly…almost torturously slow…and brushes her lips with his. He pulls away from the initial contact and she almost whimpers in response. When he doesn't lean into her again, she looks into the deep blue of his eyes. She can see the desire, the want, but she can also see a man who is thinking clearly -- whose lust isn't taking over his decision-making.

In that moment, she knows why he stopped. He wants her to know, to understand, that what is going to happen isn't going to be fueled by hormones or nature; that he is going into this with open eyes, acutely aware of the choice he is making and its ramifications. And in turn, he wants to know that Olivia knows this.

"Yeah. Are you sure?" she asks quietly, as his hand lightly runs up her arm, coming to rest on her shoulder, his fingers making light circles on her shoulder blade. This could be disastrous if they both weren't on the same page and willing to accept whatever the consequences were.

"More than anything. I've made my decision a long time ago, Olivia. I just didn't realize it."

It was what she needed to hear and what he needed to say.

She nods and brings both her hands up around his neck, linking them together and pulling his head down to hers. This time, there is nothing tentative about the contact. He presses into her, one hand on the back of her head, running through her hair, holding her in place. She can't get enough of him -- his taste, his smell – it's all addictive to her. She can feel the heat in her body increasing as his hands slide down her back and, finding the edge of her tank top, slip under the thin cotton. When his large hands make contact with her skin, she lets out a small gasp into his mouth. Smiling, Elliot pulls away from her slightly before returning his attack on her jawline and the soft flesh under it. Moaning, she arches into him and can feel Elliot smiling into her neck.

If any doubts were in her mind before, they are long gone now. For once, Olivia just lets go, allowing herself to feel something besides heartache. Allowing herself to open her heart up, if only a little bit, to the man with her, to the only man she trusts with it.

He smiles into her neck at the sound coming from deep in her throat. Wanting to hear more, Elliot moves slowly down her neck, coming to a stop at her clavicle and dipping his tongue quickly into the impression there. Leisurely, he moves across her collarbone, kissing her lightly until he comes to the end where he nips at her skin. This gets an even better reaction than he expected.

"Jesus, Elliot!" she practically hisses at him, and tries to move even closer.

Pulling his hands out from under her shirt, where they had been roaming freely across her smooth skin, he frames her face, pulling her into a heated kiss. With her hands trapped between them, Elliot can feel her start to unbutton his shirt, slowly at first, but quickening as their kisses become more frantic. Finally she gets low enough to slide her hands in and when she makes contact with his muscled chest, he understands why she gasped earlier. The sensation is unlike anything he has felt -- hot and cool at the same time, her smooth hands eagerly exploring as a blind man would do to a stranger. She seems to be memorizing his body by touch, and it's all Elliot can do to keep it together.

Grabbing her waist, he easily picks her up and moves her into his lap, allowing her room to wrap her long legs around his waist. This seems to placate her for the moment as she settles in, pulling her body as close to his as she can get without being in his skin. Looking down at him, her hair falls lightly into her face, and he gently tucks the locks behind her ears, allowing his hands to continue to roam down her neck, across her shoulders, following the spaghetti tank straps down the line of the material that crosses over the top of her breasts, finally coming to a stop in the middle, over her breastbone.

When he looks up at her, he finds her staring at his fingers, which have started sliding back and forth across the skin at the line of her tank. He watches her bite her lower lip lightly and slowly release it, leaving her mouth in a pout. Elliot is swiftly losing handle on whatever control had kept him from pushing her down on the couch up to this point. But when her small tongue comes out and licks her lips and she looks at him with desire, he does lose it. Easily he stands, placing his hands on her ass to keep her firmly wrapped around his waist. She laughs lightly as she shifts to make it easier for him to carry her, and wraps her arms around his neck, bringing her lips to his flushed neck, returning the attention he had been paying her.

Carrying her across the apartment, she makes the most of the time, quickly shedding her tank top and pushing his shirt as far down as she can. When he places her lightly on the bed, Elliot knows this is it. Their relationship is about to change forever, and he couldn't be happier.

tbc…………………………………


	8. Morning

Title: Genesis 8/10 (yeah, I misnumbered, there was 9, now there is ten, math was never my strong suit)

Author: CSIphile/hipinapple

AN: Thank you so much, I keep saying it, but I really, really mean it! Y'all are so nice, so many reviews…sniffle. Thanks. Loki: Thank you very much, glad you found this fic and enjoyed it. Sadly, I am not an amateur fic writer (though I am an amateur writer in general), Ive written quite a few fics for other fandoms, though this is my first L&O. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so feel free to let me know what I can improve. 

AN2: _Italics_ are flashbacks.

AN3: Ok, this is unbetaed and there is good reason. Cause I misnumbered, somehow this one slipped through and I have my poor, already overworked beta working on something else. So, any and all mistakes are mine, I'm sorry if its annoying, I tried to catch most, but I'm pretty bad with grammar (that's her job). 

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Chapter 8: Consequences

Elliot opens the door to his house, thinking more about the woman he had just left in bed then the one he is going to. 

_"Liv," he whispered._

_"Mmmm."_

_"I have to go, babe." Regret tinged his voice and she rolled over to face him. _

_"I know."_

_"Are you ok?"_

_She smiled at him. "Oh yeah."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"For what?"_

_"That I'm leaving."_

_"You have to Elliot. I understand."_

_If Elliot was a crying man, he probably would have right there. This woman owed him nothing, yet she understood that he couldn't stay the night, couldn't stay after they had…"Your perfect, you know that?"_

_Shock covered her face. "I…I think that's the single most beautiful thing anyone's ever told me."_

_Fully dressed he had leaned over and kissed her. "Well you are. Bye Liv, I'll call you tomorrow."_

_"Bye El."_

There had been no confessions of love, they both knew that was something farther down the line for them both. The situation was already complicated enough without adding another dimension to it.

Walking into his dark bedroom, Elliot slips into the bathroom unnoticed. Swiftly he strips off his work clothes and gets in the shower. The thought of getting into his bed with Kathy while still smelling of Olivia makes him nauseous. Twenty minutes, and one clean body, later he slides into bed, looking at his wife in the dark. 

Elliot has every intention of telling his wife what had happened; as it is he is an adulterer, he cant stand the thought of being a liar on top of it. Besides, Kathy does need to know, for obvious reasons. Clearly their marriage cannot continue, and truth be told, it had ended long ago. The only unknown in the entire equation is Kathy's reaction. He does feel guilt for what's happened, not so much guilt about what he had done with Olivia, that felt right to him; but guilt about what had happened in his marriage. That neither of them had tried harder to stop the downward slide. They had grown apart, especially with the departure of their oldest to college. It seemed that with Maureen out of house and no longer needing her parents, the entire reason for their marriage was gone, so why bother. 

Closing his eyes, Elliot tries to sleep, but the picture of Olivia lying in bed alone in her apartment is enough to keep him awake. 

When he wakes the next morning Kathy is already up, he can smell coffee downstairs. Groaning, he slides out of bed and dresses in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, looking at the clock he vaguely wonders if Olivia is up. 'Of course she is, she's probably been at work for hours by now,' he thinks and heads into the kitchen. 

"Morning," Kathy says brightly and hands him a mug.

"Morning." This felt wrong, so very, very wrong now. The normalcy of the morning, the other people in the kitchen unaware of what had happened last night. Unaware that he had irrevocably changed their lives. Suddenly Elliot feels guilty, really, truly, mind numbingly guilty. Last night, it all seemed so….unreal. But this morning, standing in his kitchen, looking at the faces of his family, reality comes crashing down. Making a decision and facing the consequences are two separate things Elliot now realizes. 

A voice breaks him out of thought.

"El? Hello? Earth to Elliot."

Kathy.

"Yeah, sorry."

She smiles at him. "I'm leaving, have to take Lizzie to the dentist. See you later?"

"Yeah, Ill be home by 6." He can tell his tone is flat, but Elliot somehow cant seem to put any life into it.

"Ok, everything all right?"

He cant lie. "We…"

"MOM! Come on!"

"Sorry, catch you later, k." She gives him a quick kiss and looks at him funny when he doesn't return the gesture.

"Bye," he responds distantly.

"Bye." She gives him another quick glance as she shuts the door behind her.

He has to do this tonight. He has to tell her what happened and hope for the best. He still doesn't regret what happened the night before. He wanted it to, he could have stopped more than once, he made a decision, and now he has to face it and deal with the fall out. 

SVU Squadroom

10 AM

Olivia looks at the map in front of her and chews the inside of her lip. She cannot believe they didn't see this before. There WAS a pattern to the murders, it just wasn't obvious, it was almost too simple. 

_When she walked into the unit at 6 am, Fin was bouncing around like a child who just got a dog for Christmas. Before she could even get her coat off, he was dragging her over to the glass board. _

_"Fin, you need to settle down man."_

_"Oh hell no. You wont even believe this."_

_"What? This better not be another dead…."_

_The words had died on her lips the second she looked at the map and the piece of paper in his hands._

Olivia is pretty sure she had told the other man she could kiss him at that moment. She smiles slightly at the memory and turns away, thanks to Fin's early distraction she had managed to only think of Elliot for a few seconds at a time. 

Right now though, it's killing her to talk to him, she needs to make sure that he still isn't regretting what happened. Suddenly Olivia feels very much like the Catholic she isn't. 'Maybe El's rubbing off on me,' she thinks. Guilt gnaws at the pit of her stomach and no matter how much she tries to ignore it, she cant. She helped her best friend commit adultery, Olivia refuses to go so far as to call herself a mistress. Her rational mind can justify the action to a point. They were both consenting adults, they knew what they were doing and knew what the probable consequences of the action were. But there's something about voicing them and then actually having to face said consequences. Olivia is willing to face them, she's just unsure what they are.

Suddenly her cell rings and she stares at the display for a moment before picking up.

"Hey," she says quietly.

"Hey," his voice is smooth on the other end of the phone.

Silence ensues before they both laugh lightly and she speaks. "How are you?"

He sighs. "Tired, but good."

Looking around, Olivia moves to a quieter spot in the bullpen, with all the noise, its unlikely anyone would hear her but she didn't want to take that chance. "Was it weird?"

He knows she's not talking about last night. "Yeah, really weird. I did this thing that's going to change all their lives, and they have no idea." 

"I wish I could do something for you."

"I know. I'm going to talk to Kathy tonight."

"You know I don't expect anything from you right? I mean…I understand that you have to take care of things first."

He is about to speak when her distant voice floats through the phone. "I think I might love you."

"I'm sorry?" Her tone was light, but still.

"Oh god!" she says and starts laughing hysterically. "I was talking to Fin, sorry."

"Uh huh…Fin? Didn't think he was your type."

She rolls her eyes even though she know he cant see her. "You aren't going to believe this. Fin found a pattern."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's a genius. An overworked, exhausted genius."

"He's standing right there, isn't he?"

"Yup. Its unreal, you know those sheets victims services hands out with the list of rape crisis meeting dates and locations?"

"Yeah."

"He went down the list, just picking the first meeting that was that night." 

"How did he get a hold of that?"

"No clue. There wasn't an attack last night though, because the meeting on the list was cancelled due to construction in the church. Rescheduled for tonight. We have a window to grab him."

"Nice job."

"Yeah. The meeting organizer just gave us permission to place decoys."

"Are you?"

"Yeah, I am. I have too."

"I know. Fin still there?"

"Nope, went off to gloat some more I think."

He smiles into the phone, this feels all too normal. It just seems that when two friends sleep together, there should be a period of awkwardness. But there isn't, its as if it didn't happen, but they both know it did.  "Be careful Liv."

"I will, promise."

"Bye, beautiful. I'll try calling later."

She smiles into the phone. "Ok. Bye." Quickly she snaps the phone shut and walks back to her desk. If she bothered to rank days in terms of good karma on her side, this one would be number one, easily. She knows any relationship with Elliot will be difficult, a challenge, and it might have to wait until he gets his life in order. She can step back for a while, something Olivia isn't accustomed to doing, for the promise of something phenomenal. 

tbc………………….


	9. Bad Things

Title: Genesis  9/10

AN: Ok, seriously, I love each and every one of you who have reviewed. This is such a small fandom and to have SO many reviews is unreal. Last two chapters here, hope you enjoy them! If y'all keep this up, you might get a sequel, maybe. J I was debating retiring from fic writing, but perhaps not now. Thank you….

AN2: Bad words in this one…you are warned. I don't think its anything worse than you would see at the 10 o'clock hour anyway.

Enjoy

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Chapter 9: Bad Things

Location Unknown

Manhattan

"Ok, everyone clear on their assignments?" Cragen's voice boomed in the small delivery van.

Heads nodded all around.

"Good. Fin, you're watching DeVries; Munch, you have Jackson; and McMahon, keep an eye on your partner. The meeting is letting out at 7:30, so the other 'participants' are going to hang back while the three women leave. If you see our guy, holler. Just make sure you don't call it too early -- we don't want to tip our hand if its not him -- but not too late either -- we don't have much of a window once he grabs her."

"Gotcha, Captain," Fin says, and looks at his watch. Thirty minutes to meeting time. The women were coming from different directions to avoid suspicion. After the counselor and undercover beat cops arrive, the plan is to watch the women -- in the hopes their guy went after one. With only the three cops and a few other blondes exiting at once, it would be easy to track the targets.

Munch has been watching the monitors and speaks up. "DeVries is here."

Shortly thereafter, Olivia and Jackson get there. Before entering the church, each woman checks in to be sure their earpiece is functioning. 

At precisely 7:30, the first of the women exit: Jackson, followed quickly by DeVries and Olivia. All the men watch carefully on the monitors as the women chat for a moment, then exchange a quick hug outside the church before walking their separate ways. The game is on.

Stabler Home

Queens, 7:30 pm

He watches as Kathy starts cleaning up the dinner dishes, having a conversation with Kathleen about college. This is all too surreal for him, and for a moment Elliot wonders if he will flake out on talking to her. He resists the urge to ask Kathleen to leave; that would raise a red flag to the kids, which he doesn't want to do.

For what seems like hours, the girls talk and Elliot allows himself a smile. He does love them, but he has fallen out of love with Kathy long ago. Finally Kathleen gets up from the table and takes off, probably to cause trouble with her siblings.

Manhattan

7:40 pm

"Anything?"

"Nothing," comes McMahon's reply over the intercom. After the meeting started, the men had headed out to previously determined spots on their target's way home, and were surreptitiously following them with back up not far behind.

"Nothing here, Captain." Munch.

"I've got a smelly bum. Anyone want to trade?" Fin asks, quietly.

Negatives are exchanged over the intercoms before McMahon's voice cuts through the silence.

"Hey guys, I have movement."

He'd been watching his partner carefully; she has been following the route and up till now, nothing extraordinary had happened. Mike is determined to catch this guy; no matter what, he wants to be the man that puts the city at peace. To that end, he has scrutinized every man that comes within spitting distance of his partner. 

If Olivia had heard him in her earpiece, she didn't indicate it -- she just continued on her path.

"White male, wearing a black leather coat. Approaching from the front."

Mike watches the man walk by, and turn his head to get another look at the brunette. Mike watches as the man keeps walking, still sneaking glances behind him, almost as if he is keeping an eye on her. Suspicious, to say the least. 

A grunt is heard in his earpiece, but Mike disregards it; it sounds like one of the other detectives moving around. Mike watches for another half a block as the guy walks into a party store and starts hitting on the clerk. 

Not the guy. 

Turning back, he is surprised to find Olivia gone from view. She was supposed to take 82nd all the way to Lex and then turn right. They were still four blocks from Lexington, and his partner had vanished without a trace. 

"I've lost visual," he says into the mic at his chest, panic starting to settle in.

"With your suspect?" Cragen asks.

"No, with Olivia."

Stabler House

7:45

"Kath…" His tone is hesitant. This isn't going to be easy for either of them.

"Yeah?"

He pauses for a moment, looking at the questioning expression on his wife's face. It wasn't so long ago that her eyes always held a spark for him, something he always saw when she looked at him. Suddenly, Elliot isn't sure when it left, but he knows why.

Just as he is about to speak, Kathy's voice interrupts him. "You know, I forgot to ask about Olivia. How is she?"

He had told Kathy where he was going; he had told her why. He was concerned for Olivia, and for some reason, Kathy had been more than understanding. At the time, he hadn't questioned it, but now he does.

"She's…good. They might be wrapping up the case tonight." Elliot tries to hide the expression of anxiety and fear that crosses his features. Hopefully, Kathy doesn't see it. 

"Worried about her?"

She had.

"Yeah, I am." 

No point in lying now.

"I can understand that. She's still your friend." Kathy turns back to the counter. He's sure he saw something in her eyes.

"Yeah, she is." Licking his lips, he takes a deep breath and plunges in. "Kathy, come here. Sit."

Nervously, she turns back and sits across the table from him, looking directly into his eyes. Elliot looks into those eyes, ones that he's looked into a thousand times.

She knows. God knows how, but she knows.

"Kathy, I….I need to tell you something." Her face is passive; she knows, but she still needs to hear it from him. Confirmation. "Olivia and I….we're more than friends."

Slowly, she nods. He doesn't need to keep going; it's written all over her face. Pursing her lips, she sighs audibly, before reaching over and grabbing his clasped, and very sweaty, hands.

"Its ok, Elliot."

That was the last thing he was expecting.

"I'm sorry? What?"

"I said its ok. I…understand." 

Manhattan

7:43 pm

"White male, wearing a black leather coat. Approaching from the front." She hears Mike's voice in her earpiece, and glances at the man he had pointed out.

'Nope, not him,' she thinks. He is checking her out pretty thoroughly in plain view; she doubts their perp is so bold. 

Olivia turns her head slightly as he passes, just in time to catch him checking out her ass. 'Definitely not him'.

As she swings her head back to the front, she collides with a solid chest. As she is about to apologize and step around, she is surprised when she is forcibly shoved into an alley. One gloved hand is securely over her mouth; all she has gotten out was a grunt. 

The next thing she knows, the man has her pinned against the alley wall -- the cold brick pressing into her back. Shit -- not good, not at all. Mike should have seen her though; the calvary should be there soon. But if they had seen her, where the hell are they? That's when Mikes voice cackles into her earpiece.

"I've lost visual…..No, with Olivia."

Shit. This just went from bad to worse. 

Her attention is shifted to her own situation instead of trying to follow the men's conversation about her whereabouts. The perp is pressing into her hard, making breathing a struggle. Bringing one knee up, Olivia tries to get him in the sack, but is halted by a hand stopping her motion. He leans into her and she can feel his breath on her neck as he whispers to her.

"You scream or fight, and its going to be that much worse." To emphasize his point, he puts a large boning knife to the soft flesh of her neck. She nods in submission; she needs him to think he is in control. 

"Please, just don't kill me." She affects her best vulnerable voice and hopes he buys it.

"You're already dead, whore," he rambles into her ear, his entire body now forced against hers. She couldn't move a muscle, even if she wanted to. The man continues calling her every name in the book, rambling incoherently, which only causes more panic to settle into her stomach. Unstable perps are the ones that typically are the most dangerous; they have no regard for the lives of others.

Again the mic starts in her ear; for a moment, she feels less alone -- relieved that she can hear her fellow detectives. Until she realizes that her captor can hear it too.

"What the hell is that?" he asks angrily, and quickly finds the source.  He rips it painfully from her ear, the microphone attached to her coat coming with it.

He backs from her slightly, still holding the knife against her, and inspects his find. Thanks to his dark hooded sweatshirt, Olivia can't see his expression, but she can feel the anger radiating from him. 

"You're a cop?!"

She remains silent as he throws the earpiece to the ground and turns back to her, roughly grabbing her upper arm and turning her 180 degrees so now she is facing the wall with her back to him. Quickly, he gropes under her leather coat and finds her gun, pulling it out with force before violently shoving her back. It seems with every action, he becomes more agitated and more brutal. For once in her life, Olivia is truly terrified; this man is twice her size, her backup is nowhere to be found and now he has her gun.

"You're a fucking cop! You whore! Thought you could catch me, did you?" He points the gun at her head, and she involuntarily closes her eyes before forcing them open again. "Scared, bitch? Yeah you are; you had the advantage, but not anymore. I have control…Me, not you."

She watches pure unadulterated hatred flash in his eyes as he closes the distance between them. He leans into her again, whispering in her ear.

"You pretended to be a victim. Well, sweetheart, now you will be."

Outside the Alley

Manhattan

Cragen comes racing across the road to McMahon's position. Lucky for him, traffic is light, and he has no trouble except a couple horns blown in his direction.

"Where is she?" he demands of McMahon. Cragen has never been so worried before.

"I…I don't know. She was right there. I watched the guy walk into the party store, and when I turned back, she was gone."

Quickly, Cragen runs his hands over his face. This cannot be happening. His best detective is missing and her partner doesn't have a clue. While he is thinking of the best plan, Munch and Fin appear, shooting disgusted looks at McMahon. They had all heard the guy rambling at Olivia before pulling her mic, which sends tendrils of fear into each of their hears.

"Ok, she was heading north on 82nd. Fin and Munch, start a search from where she was spotted last; I'll call in units. Check alleys. McMahon and I will search open apartment buildings. We have to find her quick…." He lets the implication dangle; they all knew this guy didn't take his time with his victims. The coroner had pegged the other victims' death within minutes of abduction. 

As they disperse, Cragen calls in as many units as he can get on short notice. Snapping his phone closed, he debates making one more call, but decides not to. No point in worrying Elliot until they find her, one way or the other.

Unknown Location, Manhattan

Looking around, Olivia searches for any means to escape. Her abductor's words scare her to the core, but she doesn't let it show, keeping her expression an emotionless stone. 

"You're going to regret the day you met me, lady," he hisses at her.

"I already do," she responds back, and is immediately punished with a vicious fist to the jaw. Snapping her head back, she instinctively goes to hit him, but he easily grabs her hand and twists it painfully backwards. Involuntarily, she lets out a moan at the pain. 

"Better get used to it. Pain, that is."

Olivia can now feel blood running along her lip; she had bit it when he hit her and it only serves to anger her -- rage somehow replacing her natural survival instinct. Olivia Benson won't take this shit from anyone, especially not a perp, and her mouth gets the better of her. "What is WRONG with you? Your momma not give you enough love?"

Something in his eyes changes, his anger turning into something more virulent and Olivia hopes if she angers him enough, he will slip. Or buy her backup time to find her.

"Yeah, that must be it. Everyone blames their mothers these days -- how about you? Hmmm? Not love you? Maybe she loved you too much." Olivia practically spits out the last words, and instantly regrets it when his hand not holding hers makes a hard connection with her ribs. This time she manages not to cry out.

"Shut up, bitch -- you don't know anything."

Breathing slowly to help with the pain now radiating in her side, she speaks. "I know…more than you…think."

"They were whores! All of them! They asked for it! They dressed like whores and when those men did what they did, they called the cops and had them arrested for nothing. Because THEY felt guilty about fucking a stranger!" 

His eyes flash red as he approaches her, throwing her gun down the alley and brandishing the knife. In that instant, Olivia knows she went in the wrong direction with this guy. 

"You're a whore too, and now you'll pay for it like the others." 

Now he has her pinned against the wall quicker than she expected, the knife hovering dangerously at her abdomen. Still trying to get her breath from being punched, Olivia doesn't hear the sirens in the distance until they are right outside where she is.

They both turn to the noise, and the man leans into her. "I'm sorry we have to cut this short."

Suddenly, a sharp pain registers in her side, and she can feel the knife sliding through her skin like it is butter. She can feel the cold steel work its way through her body, tearing through muscle, fat, veins, anything and everything in its way. She opens her mouth to scream, but a gloved hand covers her mouth, stifling the sound. 

"Goodbye," he whispers and places a quick kiss on her forehead, as he pulls the knife out quickly, twisting it to inflict maximum damage.

By now, the edges of Olivia's vision are starting to blur and she can feel blood trickling down her side. When he pulls the knife out, the searing pain doesn't even allow her to scream; it's all she can do to stay conscious. She watches as the man walks calmly away, and she slides down the wall, holding one hand to her side, coming to stop in a half sitting position. The trickle of blood has almost increased to a flood, and she can see red staining the concrete next to her. 

Swallowing, she tries to keep control, and fumbles for the cell phone in her pocket. Her hands are shaking too violently though, and she can't seem to get a sufficient hold and extract the object. 

Oh God, the pain. Agonizing. All she wants to do is close her eyes against it and give into the blackness she can feel sneaking up on her. Just close her eyes, go to sleep and the pain would be gone.

'NO!' her mind screams at her. She refuses to give in like this, give the perp the satisfaction of ending her life in some back alley. Unacceptable. Letting out a low groan, Olivia slides down the wall the rest of the way, the effort of staying upright too much for her. Lying on her back, she can hear cops, and….gunfire? Then a voice -- Fin's voice! Calling her name. Licking her lips and swallowing hard, she tries to call out to him, but every breath causes a sharp pain in her chest. 

"Fin…." she practically whispers. 

Olivia can feel tears running down her face now. The pain is almost unbearable, and she feels an even harder tug to slip into unconsciousness. Again, Fin's voice calls out her name, but closer this time. Much closer. Opening eyes she hadn't even realized she had closed, Olivia sees the other man running to her, coming to a sharp stop on his knees next to her. 

"Olivia! Back here!" To Olivia, his voice is far away -- like in a tunnel, despite the fact he is mere inches from her face. 

She can hear him giving her reassurances that she'll be fine and to hang in there, but a sudden wave of nausea floods her, and she finally gives into the darkness that has been staked out at the edge of her mind. The last thing she remembers is Fin calling her name in terror.

tbc……………………..


	10. Endings

Title: Genesis Chapter 10….the end

Author: CSIphile

Archive: Just ask.

AN: Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it to no end. It gives me the warm fuzzies. Many, many warm fuzzies. Anyway, I think I've left you in suspense long enough about the fate of our favorite female detective and the status of Livs and Elliots ship. And thus….the last chapter in Genesis, again, thank you!

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Chapter 9: Endings

Stabler Household

Queens

Elliot couldn't have been less shocked if the Blue Man Group waltzed into his kitchen and started two-stepping on his linoleum. He opens his mouth, but can't seem to form a sentence. She has really thrown him here.

"I don't understand." He really, really doesn't. 

"I'm angry, Elliot -- don't get me wrong. Furious, actually. You abandoned me, cheated on our vows, betrayed this marriage. But then I realized something. I abandoned you long ago."

"Kathy…" He covers her hands with his.

"No, let me finish. I never really made an effort to understand what you do. I mean…I KNOW what you do, but I didn't understand it. Not on the level I should have. I realize you didn't want me in that part of your life, and that's understandable, but I still should have supported you instead of griping at you about how many hours you worked, or why you wouldn't talk to me. I….didn't give you much choice, did I?"

"Kathy, this isn't your fault. Don't think it is, I…god. I betrayed _you_, not the other way around."

She tilts her head at him. "Yeah, you did, but I'm not blameless here. I never should have forced you to choose between your work and your marriage. They are two halves of a whole person, and I asked you sever part of yourself. It was unfair at best."

"Kathy, I swear to you…." He is cut off by the ringing of his cell. Annoyed, Elliot looks at the display before frowning. 

Cragen.

Why the hell…._oh god_. A sudden feeling of dread settles itself nicely in Elliot's chest, making it hard to breathe. Without a word of explanation to Kathy, he picks up the phone and opens it.

Out of habit, he answers the phone…"Captain."

"Elliot…" He can hear the tremor in his former boss' voice. "You probably should come to Bellevue. Things didn't go as planned with the operation tonight."

"What happened?" Now he looks at Kathy, whose face has a surprising touch of concern on it.

"I really think you should just get here quickly."

Anger quickly displaces fear. "What. Happened?" he asks, even as he stands and collects his coat.

"Elliot…..she was attacked by the perp."

"Ohhhh God. How bad?"

"Not sure yet -- she's in surgery." He can hear Don hesitate before continuing. "All we know is it's a stab wound. I'm…sorry, El."

"I'll be there in twenty, Don. Thank you." He hangs up before hearing the response and faces his wife. "I….I have to go. Olivia was…injured."

He watches the resigned expression cross her face. "I know. Go. I understand, El. But understand, when you get back….we have to work things out."

"Yeah. I know." He voice holds a tinge of regret; he didn't actively seek out the end of his marriage. It just seemed that one thing started the avalanche, and what finally stopped it was his adultery. It forced them to accept the reality of the situation: they loved each other -- they just weren't in love anymore. 

"Thank you," he says, and steps out the back door.

Bellevue Hospital

Finally, Elliot finds Cragen in the surgery waiting area. He had used his badge down in Emergency to push to the front of the line and get the information he needed. After that it was one anxious elevator ride and 50 feet to his present location. Walking in, he sees Don pacing slowly across the worn flooring. Munch and Fin are sitting several chairs away from each other, both looking…grave.

For one instant, Elliot is terrified that he is too late -- that she's dead. Lying on a cold slab in the morgue, her essence gone -- too much like the victims they investigate….used to investigate together. The mental image of a pale, lifeless Olivia makes him physically ill.

"Don? How….is she?" He almost can't get the words out.

"I don't know. They said two to three hours in surgery; it's only been an hour. They were notably…vague."

He nods silently. They all know the routine; they had seen it before with families and victims. 

"What the hell happened?" Elliot looks around and suddenly realizes they are one person short. Anger courses through him. "Where is McMahon?"

"He's getting coffee." Cragen glances at Fin before continuing. "We aren't sure what happened. Mike was watching Olivia… we thought we had a suspect… next thing we know, she's gone."

Elliot narrows his eyes at his former Captain. He can read between the lines pretty clearly. "He didn't keep an eye on her, did he?"

At that minute, the target of Elliot's rage walks in the door. And freezes upon seeing Olivia's former partner. 

Before the other man can even make a move, Elliot is advancing on him, allowing his emotions to take over. The rational part of his brain shuts off, letting the animal out.

"You. Bastard." His voice is stone.

Quickly, Mike sets down the tray of hot coffee he is holding and holds his hands up in a weak defense against the bigger man.

"I…I didn't do anything." 

Elliot slows his approach, but continues to eye the man like he's prey to be fed upon. "What the hell happened?"

"I…I was watching her, and some guy passed her, looking a little TOO hard. I tracked him about half a block to a grocery store before determining he wasn't a suspect. By the time I turned back to her, she was gone." 

Elliot takes in the man's defeated posture and tone. Elliot has no doubt the other man is upset about what happened, but shifting of the blame off himself only manages to anger him more. 

"You know, they do teach you in the academy how to track two targets at once. Basic LO 101." Again Elliot advances, noting with pleasure that the other man backs away slightly. Easily, he sizes up his prey and decides to go with another tactic. Besides, physical violence will only get him thrown out of the hospital.  

Elliot changes his tone slightly from anger to a quietly menacing tone, narrowing his eyes to slits. "You NEVER take your eyes off your partner. If she dies -- if she even has a SCAR, I am coming after you. Don't doubt that for a second."

He turns back to the other men, who have passive expressions on their faces as though they were watching a golf game on TV instead of a detective threaten another with bodily harm. Elliot guesses because they would happily assist him in carrying out the threat. 

Heavily, he sits in a chair and sighs. It's going to be a long night, and it's only just begun.

Bellevue Hospital

Three Hours Later

"Elliot Stabler?" The doctor calls out into the silent room. 

"Yeah, that's me." Elliot quickly stands, and is followed in short order by the other men. Various cops have been coming in and out as they waited -- most waiting in the hall for word on their fallen comrade, and leaving the men of her unit, and Elliot, in the room. 

"You are listed as next of kin. Are you family?"

"Yes, I am. How is she?" Elliot isn't in the mood to try and explain the current state of their relationship. Not to a stranger, and not in a room filled with Olivia's squad members.

"She'll be fine. There was significant damage -- the knife took an upward path under her ribs, nicking her left lung. She also lost part of her spleen and nearly two pints of blood.  She was very lucky, considering. Detective Benson could easily have bled out if someone wasn't there so fast."

"Can I see her?" he asks, allowing some of the desperation he is feeling into his words.

"Once she is moved to ICU, in about an hour. Then, only 10 or 15 minutes at a time; she needs time to rest, ok?"

Elliot nods and lets out a sigh of relief -- surprised when the doctor touches his arm. "She's going to be fine."

Again, he nods and looks at the floor, relieved. Relieved to the point of tears, which is why his current view is that of white vinyl flooring. Taking several minutes to compose himself, Elliot slowly moves into one of the chairs to wait for the longest hour of his life.

Bellevue Hospital

ICU Room 3

Two Days Later

Slowly, he opens the glass door and enters the darkened room. This is one place he had hoped to never visit for this reason. In the back of every cop's head is the fear of having to visit their partner in the intensive care unit. Now he has, twice a day for the past two days, waiting for her wake up. 

Yesterday, they took her off the last of the sedative and pulled the breathing tube. The doctor said it could be any time; 'she'll wake up when she wants to' he had told Elliot on Day One.

For Elliot, it's not just a partner he is visiting. She's more than that to him, and has been for a long time. Elliot doesn't have an adequate word to describe their relationship…more than friends, lovers isn't deep enough, partners is too clinical. He does love her, so 'the woman he loves', while accurate, is a few too many words and a little too personal for general use. 'Girlfriend' might be taking it a bit too far. Elliot almost laughs at that thought. He's slept with her, he loves her, but she's not his girlfriend.

He easily sinks onto a stool next to her bed, and covers her hand with his own. If it wasn't for the wires coming out from under the blue checked gown, Elliot almost wouldn't know anything was wrong with her. While she hasn't regained consciousness in the past two days, she has regained some color -- her skin recapturing some of its bronze tone instead of the sickly grey it had been.

Reaching up, he strokes her hair slowly. She has been growing it out; it's almost to the length that it was when they first met. 

"I'm so sorry, Liv. Sorry I wasn't there for you, sorry this happened. Just….God." He looks at her closed eyes. "Why don't you open those eyes for me, baby? Just a little bit?"

When nothing happens, he slowly grins. "You always were stubborn. For once, just let it go, would you?……All right, fine. You're just going to have to lay there and listen to me ramble for however long they let me sit here. Could be a while, you might be sick of my voice by then."

"Not likely." A small voice rings out.

Elliot immediately snaps his head up and looks at her face, thrilled to find her eyes open. "Liv." It comes out as a breath of relief.

"El," she replies slowly, swallowing thickly. "Water?"

"Oh! Yeah, hang on. Lemme get the doctor too, ok?"

Twenty minutes later, Olivia is hydrated and talking to the doctor slowly, but steadily. After discussing her injuries, the doctor leaves them alone. As the door closes behind him, Olivia is surprised by Elliot's face looming over hers before coming down for a feather-light kiss.

She gives him a broad smile as he returns to the stool. Olivia can see the extra lines surrounding his eyes, the tiredness that just exudes from every part of his body. Silence reigns until he speaks.

"You had us all scared, Liv."

"I know." She doesn't say any more; she can't. Olivia can barely remember what happened after she was pulled into the alley -- it's a blur. "I can't remember. I mean…I remember getting pushed into the alley….and then that's it. I don't even remember getting stabbed."

"Maybe that's for the best, Liv. You don't have to replay it in your head over and over."

"How can I get past something I can't remember though, El?"

He takes her hand and rubs his thumb along her knuckles, slowly. "I don't know… I don't know."

"How can I testify, for that matter? Maybe he said something, did something." She closes her eyes in frustration.

"There isn't going to be a trial. He's dead."

Her eyes snap open again and bore into him. "What?"

"Fin and Munch saw him coming out of an alley, holding a bloody knife. They told him to freeze, he lunged at Munch, and Cragen took him down. No muss, no fuss"

"Damn him. Damn him all to hell."

He smiles slightly at that. Elliot has to admit he experienced a bit of remorse at not being able to see the prep fry at the hands of the state. He looks at her and sees her eyes darken slightly.

"Mike….I….I remember him saying in my ear that he lost me. Did he?" Her eyes are hopeful that Elliot would tell her no, not wanting to believe that her partner would string her out to dry.

"Yeah, he did. Forgot basic training, and in those 15 seconds, you disappeared."

"Oh." Unbidden tears spring into her eyes and she pushes them away as quickly as she can. "What happened to him?"

"He's been…reassigned. Cragen didn't think that you would be able to trust him anymore."

"He's right. God, Elliot, I didn't want it to end up this way. I really didn't."

He brings her hand up and kisses the palm. "I know you didn't. It wasn't your fault."

She nods at him and then sighs, heavily. "I guess I have to get another partner. Unless Munch is willing to give up Fin." She waggles her eyebrows at him.

He laughs lightly. "No, you're getting a new partner, but I don't think you'll have too many problems. Turns out you've known him for a long time; this guy's trustworthy and pretty handsome."

For a minute, he thinks he has her confused, until a small smile tugs at her lips. "Really? By any chance would I be very…close to this man?"

"Depends on your definition of close."

She leans into him as much as her sore middle will allow. "Have I seen my new partner naked?"

He wasn't expecting that, and blushes slightly. "Why? Do you make it a habit of seeing them naked?"

"Just the one." Finally, she gets serious. "You're coming back?"

"Yeah, Cragen is trying to work it out now. Should be back by the time you are."

"Good. But what about…."

"Don't ask, don't tell policy. Ok? As long as our numbers don't go down, and we keep it out of the office, it stays between us."

"I missed you," she says.

"I missed you, too. Get better and you can come home."

Six Weeks Later

SVU Squadroom

Olivia is quietly filling out her last report when a paperclip suddenly comes flying across her desk at her, stopping just short of falling off the edge. She doesn't look up, and a rubber band joins the paperclip, and then a pen cap shortly thereafter completes the trio of office supplies congregating on the desk.

Sighing, she looks up at her partner, who is reclining in his seat, giving her one of his shit-eating grins, his feet up next to his computer monitor. 

"Are we back to this again?"

"You betcha."

"If you're so bored, El, pick up a report and make yourself useful."

"Liv, it's Friday at 6. We aren't on call tomorrow -- let's get out of here." He sits up, flinging his feet to the ground and leaning across conspiratorially at her. "Come on, I'll buy you a beer."

"You know I can't have beer with my meds, you jackass." Her tone is serious, but her face betrays the smile.

"Ok, then I'll buy you an iced tea. Come on, Liv, I can really think of better things to do."

"Then do, El -- you don't have to wait for me." She turns back to the brown file.

"Yeah, I do." He waggles his eyebrows at her and she just sighs loudly, turning back to the page. 

He gets up and collects his coat and gun, walking around the desk and closing the file on her. 

"Hey!"

Without a word, he carefully lifts her out of the chair and grabs her coat, helping her into it. She has given into him. That accomplished, he puts one hand on the small of her back and leads her out of the office. 

"Let's go home," he says, and she smiles at him.

Fin


End file.
